How to Apply Your Listening Skills

Listening is a vital part of interpersonal communication.

Listening skills make the world a better place by facilitating communication, which is in the best interests of both the speaker and the listener. The speaker is able to make his point with minimal frustration and repetition, and the listener makes the most of his own time by effectively hearing the speaker's message and absorbing potentially useful information. Even when the speaker and the listener have a clear difference of opinion, skillful listening can help them identify points of disagreement and build on any common ground.

Instructions

1. Listen respectfully. If the speaker gets the impression that you are paying attention to him, he will be less likely to become defensive and angry. This can help prevent a discussion from escalating into an emotionally charged argument.

2. Listen to body language, as well as words. Although it is not always a good idea to tell a speaker that he is sitting in a hostile position while saying that he bears you no ill will, your awareness of the mixed message can help you understand him and adjust your own behavior. For example, if the speaker makes a threat while hunching his body in a submissive pose, you could deduce that he he feels threatened, and you could try to put him at ease.

3. Use your own body language to communicate that you are engaged in what the speaker is saying. Make eye contact and nod when he makes a particularly salient point. Avoid body language that communicates boredom, such as shifting, yawning and folding your arms. If the speaker gets the message that you are genuinely listening, he will feel relaxed and confident and do a better job of making his point.

4. Repeat the speaker's words back to him. This will demonstrate that you are indeed listening and also give him an opportunity to clarify his message. Preface your interpretation with, "As I understand it," to make it clear that you are serious about processing his point of view.

References

• DrNadig.com: Tips on Effective Listening
• Mind Tools: Active Listening
• Free Management Library; Interpersonal Listening Skills