How to Exchange Yui-No Gifts Before a Japanese Wedding

Prior to your wedding, prepare a yui-no ceremony, in which the bride and groom and their families exchange a series of gifts that signify happiness and fortune.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Obi
• Japanese Almanacs
• Fans
• Sake
• Hakamas

1. Exchange two main gifts: an obi for the bride, which is a sash worn with a kimono, representing female virtue; and a hakama skirt for the groom - a man's kimono worn for formal occasions, which symbolizes fertility.
2. Carefully select nine other special items to offer to your partner and his or her family that symbolically speak your sincere wishes.
3. Express your sincere wishes by giving naga-noshi, which is made from abalone and in the past was traditionally a costly item.
4. Exchange "moeny," or money, as a ceremonial gift.
5. Offer katsuo-bushi, which is a dried bonito used to make soup stock. This has high value.
6. Indicate everlasting quality with dried cuttlefish, called surume.
7. Include konbu tangles for their strong breeding power. They are a wish for happy and healthy future generations.
8. Present Shiraga, or hemp, to show your desire for cooperation in your marriage. Since shiraga sounds like "white hair" in Japanese, it also expresses your wish for a long future.
9. Offer a fan, or suehiro, as a sign of your happiness about the upcoming marriage. Since the fan extends to the end, it shows your hopes for the future.
10. Include a sake, or wine, cask. This is called yanagi-daru. It is made of willow trees with tender leaves to show your obedience to the relationship.
11. Prepare mokuoku, which is a list of all of the items you deliver.

Tips & Warnings

• Exchange your gifts through a go-between or matchmaker on a day that is considered lucky according to the Japanese almanac.
• Provide a list of all of your family members along with the gifts, so the families can become familiar with one another.