How to Deal With Evil People

Now and then we come across people who are bent on cruelty and destruction. Here are some strategies for dealing with them.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Identify Evil CHARACTERS.
   
   There is a difference between someone who is ignorant of social etiquette and someone who has an incurable impulse to hurt and wound others -- or someone who is having a bad day, and someone who is bad every day.
   
   So, ask, is this person CHARACTERIZED by viscousness, deception, cruelty, etc. -- OR, are they just having one of those momentary lapses that we all have?

2. Know Characteristics of Evil Characters.
   
   Destruction: Where evil people go, they bring destruction. They continually destroy relationships. They can't keep friends. They continually wound others with cruel speech or actions.
   
   Deception: Evil people chronically lie, to the point that you never who what reality is with them. Don't believe a WORD that an evil person says. Pretty much, if they are talking, they are lying.
   
   Manipulation: Evil people have a 'god' complex; they want to be, and think they are, the center of the universe. Thus, they will do whatever they have to to get what they want.

3. Avoid Evil People.
   
   If and when possible, stay far away from evil people. Where they are, trouble and pain are soon to follow. They have the tendency (and power) to suck everyone (even the good guys) into their personal black hole.

4. Deal With Evil People.
   
   If the situation will not allow you to avoid an evil person then you MUST deal with them. Simply hoping they will get better won't work. Hoping they will surprise you with 'goodness' is also a bad strategy.
   
   Depending on the situation and person, you might consider:
   1) Confronting them: It is best to have someone else with you, and it is best to do this in person, and in public. NEVER send an evil person an email, text, or letter (unless via a lawyer). If you have to confront them, make sure to do it in person.
   2) Calling in someone higher up: if they are breaking company rules, then call the boss; if they are breaking the law, then call the police.
   3) Making their actions known: that is, warn others about them (though not in the context of 'gossip').
   4) Dealing with them EARLY: if you see a person is in 'destruction' mode, then don't entrust them with important secrets, tasks, etc. Rather, deal with them head on, and right away. Don't wait on them to strike because THEY WILL.

5. Make Boundaries and Consequences.
   
   Put evil people on notice AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE that there are certain boundaries of respect that they cannot and will not cross. Let them know you have non-negotiables in personal ethics, business, etc. Also, let them know that there will be consequences for their actions.
   
   Example: You are assigned to work on a project with an evil person at work. You have to meet with them every day for the next week. This person is known for being dishonest and a gossip. What do you do? Your very FIRST meeting you should let them know that you don't engage in gossip, you don't waste company money, etc. Then, nonchalantly tell them you are going to keep minutes of the meetings and turn them into your boss every day so he/she can assess your progress.

6. Read Up.
   
   Two excellent books I'd recommend on dealing with evil people: Boundaries (By Cloud and Townsend), Love Must Be Tough (Dobson).

Tips & Warnings

• This article is not meant to be a 'technique' -- you will need to use wisdom based on the situation. Also, make sure to get some good counsel from older/wiser people.

[tinggoks]

on 2/23/2010 I call one an "evil person ," because he/she would try to get every opportunity to grab credits both monetary and (social,)recognition over to his side. Getting credits for work we do is fine and dandy as this is the rationale of paid work. However a distinct motivation of greed and narcism characterize such person(s).

Envy and jealousy are unbridled cohorts in their value system. They are ready to displace anyone including their closest work kin, or even their direct supervisors, if only to grab at opportunities they feel should be theirs, as well. Their is no modicum of remorse for them to see what their actions do to others. They always pronounce scenarios that if the job had been awarded to them, it would have been done better, faster, and more efficiently. They would always seemingly show great concern for wasteful practices of the company but do not worry ab...

[vinnyrodrigo]

on 2/8/2010 Great true-isms. Never try to befriend an evil person, they will never change. Best is to avoid them before they spread lies about you. You can tell an evil person because they are the first to tell you all they want is to help you...that really means they want to extract information about you to use against you in a public manner to embarrass, harass, or threaten you. Also, any 'normal' behavior is useless with these people. Best is to not say anything to them at all at any time for as long as possible.