How to Be the Perfect Maid of Honor

Maids of honor enjoy a position of prestige and privilege. They also carry tremendous responsibility. Maids of honor serve as the head bridesmaid. They assist the bride however possible. This may include planning pre-wedding parties, going on lots of shopping trips, keeping the bridesmaids organized and on time, and helping solve last-minute problems at the ceremony and reception. Being the perfect maid of honor is challenging at best, but it is possible.

Instructions

Before the Wedding

1. Promise the bride you'll do exactly what she needs you to do—nothing more, nothing less. A maid of honor who forces her way into planning the wedding or oversteps her bounds is just as bad as a maid of honor who is of little or no help at all.

2. Learn the maid of honor's customary planning tasks. According to The Maid Of Honor Guide, these tasks include coordinating the bridesmaids and their dress fittings; planning, hosting and helping fund the bridal shower; and planning the bachelorette party.

3. Ask the bride about other planning duties she'd like you to handle. For example, the bride may want your help choosing her dress and the bridesmaid dresses.

4. Get contact information for all the bridesmaids, especially an email address and cell phone number. Enter the telephone numbers and email addresses into your address book, whether it is your cell phone, personal digital assistant or email contact folder.

5. Send an email to each bridesmaid. Introduce yourself (if you don't all know each other) and propose a date to meet one another and discuss dates for dress fittings, the bridal shower and bachelorette party.

6. Make an event calendar using a web-based calendar service. Post important dates, times, locations and a map link. Include a brief description of each event ("Dress fittings and late lunch afterward").

7. Send reminders a few days before each event. For those bridesmaids who can't attend their dress fittings, supply them with the contact information they need to make an alternate appointment.

8. Lend the bride your ear. Whether she's nervous about marriage, angry at her future sister-in-law or simply stressed out from all the planning, be accessible. Act as a voice of reason; talk her through the tough times and offer to help do whatever needs to be done.

Rehearsal

1. Make sure the bridesmaids can get to the rehearsal. According to The Knot, the maid of honor should help them arrange transportation and lodging if necessary.

2. Take notes during the rehearsal; know how the entrance is supposed to work and which bridesmaid is paired with which groomsman.

3. Review the wedding-day schedule with the bridesmaids. Make sure each knows when to arrive for her hair and makeup appointment, and ensure each has transportation to the ceremony and reception. Double-check that all bridesmaids have the appropriate jewelry and bouquets.

Wedding Day

1. Make sure the bridesmaids get to the service on time; if you suspect someone is running late, give her a call and and help her get there if necessary.

2. Hold the groom's ring. The Knot recommends keeping it on your thumb.

3. Look after the bride's train. Straighten and arrange it as necessary.

4. Hold the bride's bouquet during the vows. Return it before she walks back up the aisle.

5. Sign the marriage license, if necessary.

6. Help guests find their seats at the reception.

7. Offer a toast to the bride and groom. Simplicity is best; say a few words about your friendship with the bride, and wish the couple luck in their marriage.

8. Make sure the bride has an opportunity to eat something at the reception. In the bustle of the day, it's entirely possible that she will forget to eat.

9. Help the bride change for the honeymoon (provided the honeymoon immediately follows the reception). Keep her wedding dress in a safe place until she returns.

References

• The Knot: Maid Of Honor: Her Duties In Detail
• Maid of Honor Guide: Made of Honor Duties, Responsibilities, Speeches and How To Plan A Bridal Shower