How to Set Dress Requirements for the Guests at Your Wedding
In an increasingly casual society, weddings are one of the last remaining bastions of formal dress, yet the meaning of the word "formal" dramatically during the 20th century. Where "formal" used to mean white tie, today it may mean nothing more than a dark suit. Additionally, many wedding couples are choosing a less formal dress code, although few would ask their guests to show up in jeans and sneakers. While mandating a dress code is technically a breach of etiquette, wedding couples may make gentle suggestions. Does this Spark an idea?
Instructions
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Agree on a dress code with your spouse-to-be. Clarify your expectations with each other before trying to convey them to your guests.
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Choose invitations in a style that matches the level of formality you desire. Traditionally, the formality of the invitation was the guests' only clue as to the formality of the wedding. Many guests, particularly those who are older, will expect the wedding to match the invitation in formality.
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Suggest a level of formality in the lower right corner of the invitation. Never tell your guests what they must wear. Instead, use such wording as "black tie welcome" or "semi-formal preferred."
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Ask the wedding party to spread the word about dress code. While it is tacky for the bride and groom to tell guests what to wear, parents and members of the wedding party are under no similar obligation.
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Reply politely but accurately when asked. Wedding guests who are unsure what to wear may call you or your spouse-to-be with questions, so clearly convey your preferences without sounding demanding.
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Describe the wedding in detail. Many modern wedding couples have websites or blogs devoted to their wedding plans. Describing the wedding gown, the bridesmaids' dresses, the groomsmen's attire and even the decorations provides clues as to the expected dress code.
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Tips & Warnings
It is rude for the wedding couple to place financial hardships on your guests, so be understanding if guests simply cannot conform to your wishes. If you know the guest well, consider gently suggesting rental attire or other low-cost alternatives.
If you are having a themed wedding, you will probably want your guests to dress the part. Convey your desires on your wedding blog or website, or have your wedding party spread the word. It is acceptable to note the wedding theme on the invitation, but it is not appropriate to insist that your guests wear costumes.