How to Impress Your In-Laws

In-law jokes have been part of world cultures for centuries. It can sometimes be tricky to forge a positive relationship with your spouse's parents, but it's a good idea to try.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Treat your spouse well. Nothing pleases parents more than knowing that their son or daughter is being well-loved and cared for.

2. Present a united front. Never squabble with your spouse in front of his or her parents. If you think hot issues may come up, discuss how you will deal with them ahead of time.

3. Contact them without waiting for them to contact you, and invite them over before they invite themselves. This allows you to get your home ready and to prepare yourself emotionally for a visit on your own terms.

4. Ask their advice, regardless of whether or not you plan to take it. Your spouse's parents will be glad to feel that they still have some influence on their child's life.

5. Be creative. If it bothers you that your mother-in-law always tries to do your dishes after dinner, offer her another task, such as serving coffee or playing with the baby.

6. If you and your in-laws are completely incompatible, just handle it as gracefully as possible, avoid contact whenever you can, and remember that even if you will never love your in-laws, they did something wonderful when they created your spouse.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid confrontations with your in-laws. Try to let criticism or differences of opinion wash over you.
• Try to get along well with your in-laws, but don't let them take over. This can be especially important when grandchildren arrive. Set reasonable ground rules for everyone in the family.
• Begin making your own cherished family holiday traditions at home, especially if family holidays become a tug-of-war about whose family to visit and it isn't possible to visit both. Or go out of town and enjoy the holidays in an entirely different way.

[jull14]

on 2/11/2009 This is a great article. many marriages are failing because of the in laws. Thanks for the tips. I will use them with my mother in law.

[Ineedhelpplease]

on 10/9/2008 I am the son-in-law with a live in mother-in-law. She tries to control every aspect of my family, my wife, me, and our children. And I do mean EVERY aspect. I can't even choose my own clothing without her aproval. This article has suggestions for the in-laws that do not live with you, but what about the rest of us that not only have live-in's but controlling ones?

on 8/8/2006 Find out what they absolutely love, and express some sort of interest and a willingness to learn about it. For example, my Father-in-law loves Corvettes, I love cars. He and I became best buddies.

on 2/6/2006 My heart is broken because I am one of the hated, future mother-in-laws. I was so looking forward to seeing my son happily in love and getting to enjoy a friendship with him and his fianc. It seems that all advice is for the young couples on how to handle the awful in-laws. Please just allow yourselves to understand your in-laws love and be open to accept it.

on 1/5/2006 If your Mother-In-Law is mean to you, or says mean things about you, resist the urge to do the same. This is very difficult, but it pays off. Every mean thing she says or does, say or do something twice as nice. Remember, she is looking for anything to hold against you. She will eventually get frustrated and give up, and will later feel bad about it. It may take three years or more, but eventually everyone's conscience gets the best of them.