How to Make Family Life Better

Creating a happy home is not an easy task. There are many forces competing for our attention: work, school, activities and church, to name a few. Not only that, but dealing with family means dealing with people, which can always be challenging. Learning to communicate is the key to making family life better. One of the challenges of learning to communicate is learning how to speak the same language---the same love language, that is.

Instructions

1. To improve your family life, you have to start by building better relationships. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, best-selling author and a marriage counselor with 30 years' experience, a key element of creating good relationships is learning to understand what he describes as "love languages." Chapman says different people express and interpret love in different ways. These different ways are their love languages.

2. Consider the various ways people can show their love to one another. They give each other presents, say "I love you," spend time together, do things for each other, and give hugs: all examples of the five love languages. People who love to get gifts aren't greedy---they simply feel most loved when they receive a truly thoughtful present that shows someone took the time and effort to choose just the right thing. Other people need to hear words of affirmation, such as "I love you," and "You did a great job." Some people most appreciate acts of service, because when a family member performs a task for them, they feel loved. Others feel loved through physical touch---hugs and kisses, pats and hand holding. Some feel especially loved when their loved one makes the effort to spend quality time with them.

3. Observe your family members to determine their love languages. The way to tell is by noticing what seems to make them the happiest and what ways they offer their love to others. The child who always wants to snuggle and sit in your lap probably predominately needs physical touch in order to feel loved. The spouse who is always making plans for things you can do together is speaking the "quality time" love language. One child might be very excited and appreciative of gifts, while another child lights up when you tell her you love her and explain to her just what makes her special to you.

4. Commit to learning how to speak your family members' love languages. Teach your spouse and older children about this concept, also. You will soon notice a difference in your family life.

Tips & Warnings

• Take the Love Languages test to see what your primary love language is:

• http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp

• Don't use the love languages to manipulate other people. It might work for a while, but sooner or later, they will catch on and feel hurt. Creating healthy relationships requires an honest desire to act in the other person's best interests.

References

• The Five Love Languages
• The Five Love Languages Test