How to Behave at a Catholic Monastery
In our pluralistic society, it's possible to find yourself visiting places, including religious places, that you might never have anticipated. If you visit a Catholic monastery, there are ways to behave, as well as behaviors to avoid, to keep your visit respectful and avoid unintentionally giving offense.
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Instructions
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Call ahead. Monasteries are usually happy to accommodate guests, even for a short visit, but monks must balance meditation and study with the demands of hospitality. Find out if the community has a set time when it's open to the public, or hours of the day when guests are discouraged. If you want to pray with the community, ask for their schedule of services.
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Dress modestly. Distracting or revealing clothing, including shorts, sleeveless shirts and bikini tops, are not suitable for a Catholic monastery. Casual dress is generally fine, though jeans should be nice, not faded or torn. T-shirts with funny sayings or offensive images are inappropriate.
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Turn off your cellphone, and avoid making loud noises once you arrive, especially in the chapel. Usually, if you've called ahead, a member of the community will be on hand to greet you. If there is no one available, follow the instructions posted at the main entrance.
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Treat the monastery grounds with the same respect you would treat a church or someone's house. Do not allow children to run around freely, and be aware that there are areas where visitors are not allowed to go. If you are presented to the head of the community, be respectful, but do not expect to ask questions or engage in conversation. You may greet members of the community and ask for help, but do not press them for conversation.
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Participate in the chapel services if you like, or sit quietly in the back of the room. No one will be offended if you do not participate in chanting the psalms or praying, but don't draw attention to yourself. Generally, if you're in a place where people will notice you, it's polite to stand and sit with the community. If you prefer not to kneel, then sit quietly.
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Consider leaving a financial donation or buying something from the gift shop if there is one. Catholic monasteries are self-supporting, and much of their money goes to fund charitable works. Catholic monasteries also receive donations of food, furniture, clothing and professional advice. If you feel compelled to give, ask your guide what the community needs.
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Tips & Warnings
In many Catholic monasteries, the monks wear lay clothing outside of chapel. Traditional-looking monastic robes are reserved for chapel, especially at the main services. Do not be surprised to find a monk in trousers or work overalls.
Monks are generally referred to as "Brother N.," or simply "Brother." Do not call a monk by his first name, unless specifically invited to do so.
Monks ordained to the priesthood are referred to as "Father N."
The head of a community is usually called "Abbot N." or "Prior N." Your guide will tell you how to address him. If you're in doubt, simply ask.
At Mass, only Roman Catholics in a state of grace may receive Communion. If you are not Catholic, or not in a state of grace, you may always go forward to receive a blessing from the priest, signified by crossing your arms over your breast.
