How to Better Your Social Life at Mid Life
After years of devoting themselves to work and family, some middle-aged people look around and find they are without seasoned friendships or much of a social life. But "remaining socially integrated until the end of life is...a key component of successful aging," says Karl Pillemer, author of "Social Integration in the Second Half of Life." Happily, mid-life can be a marvelous time to rebuild a social life. You know what you're about and your maturity can be an asset to new friends.
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Instructions
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Take the initiative. If you've spent the last few years--or decades-- living in the space between your television and the couch, waiting for someone to call you and suggest a movie or dinner is like waiting for a television character to ask you out, so you need to do the inviting.
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Reach out to old friends. They may also be ready to socialize again. Start with a lunch, a home dinner or a dinner out. It doesn't have to be fancy; it just has to be about getting reacquainted.
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Make new friends. You might join a club or do volunteer work; the key is to choose something about which you feel passionately, as do the people already involved in it--they will be easy to befriend. But go a step further and take the new friendships outside the club or volunteer boundaries; invite people to lunch, to dinner or to attend an event with you. Or host a brunch or potluck dinner.
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Resolve to do something social every single week; the usual club meeting or volunteer work don't count. Call someone to do something with you or attend an event at which people must talk, such as a wine and cheese gallery opening or a class. This will help you to develop the habit of getting out of the house and being sociable.
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Look up the Meet Up groups in your area. To do this go online, search for meetup.com, and once there, search for meet ups in your town or area. You will probably discover an array of groups of people who meet to discuss issues or enjoy actvities such as wine tastings, chess games, NASCAR and just about anything you can imagine. Look for adult activities rather than family fun groups.
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Give it time. If you've been out of the social loop, socializing can feel awkward. You're not alone; some of the people you meet will feel exactly as you do. Keep in mind, too, that not everyone is going to be your friend. That's OK. Among those with whom you do establish a friendly relationship, not everyone is going to be a close friend but may still be happy to attend social functions with you.
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Set a goal to host a party or a big night out for a number of new and old friends, say ten or more, to take place in six months. It might be as simple as a pizza party out or a potluck dinner or it might be a fancy dinner. This goal will help you to stay on track and establish an interesting social life.
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