How to Deal With a Cheating Spouse and Spy

One of the most difficult things that you may have to deal with in a marriage is dealing with a cheating spouse. The spy approach is a controversial one. Many people question if it's truly fair to invade upon a spouse's privacy, when asking the potential cheating spouse if they are cheating could very well be the more mature decision. But sometimes solidifying what you intuitively know can help you decide what you want to do in your marriage with a cheating spouse. The spy approach can help you determine if you want to stay or go. It also can help you come out on top with divorce proceedings in a "No Fault" divorce state.

Instructions

1. Confront your spouse with your suspicions. Are they keeping odd hours? Have their grooming habits and behavior changes? Are you dealing with issues of intimacy? Ask your spouse if they are cheating and discuss your concerns. This isn't to say that your spouse will confirm or deny. But it's much fairer to ask first before commencing a snooping project that could be both emotionally and financially expensive.

2. Begin "checking up" on your spouse. If they do a lot of "hanging out with the boys" (or girls), get a baby sitter if need be to allow you to snoop on your potentially cheating spouse and spy.

3. Observe your spouse at the location. (If you spouse does not show up, give him or her a call to "check in" and confirm if they are where they said they were going to be.) Assuming your spouse showed up at the location. Watch for patterns and clues. Are they doing a lot of flirting, dancing etc.?

4. "bump into" your spouse at the location. Keep it light and breezy. Notice how they treat you. Are they on the defensive? Is the behavior odd?

5. If you are still wondering about your spouse and cheating, hire a private investigator, if you get no satisfaction from the asking approach.

6. Agree to what the private investigator's scope of work will be, including scope of work, location and what they'll provide as proof of your cheating spouse.

7. Deal with what you could find along with the notion of "you usually KNOW when your relationship is on the rocks". Are you ready for pictures? Details? Etc.? What will you do with the information? Get a divorce? Confront spouse?

8. Seek additional therapy and counseling.

9. Make a decision based on the solid facts the private investigator provided with your spouse and cheating.