How to Get the Courage to Talk to a Guy
Overcoming shyness can be challenging. In fact for some, mustering the courage to initiate conversation can be downright debilitating. According to Dr. Bernard Carducci of the Shyness Research Institute, shyness is characterized by anxiety and inhibition resulting from the feeling that others are evaluating you. And while there is a definite range of self-induced liabilities for people considered shy---from muscle tension and increased anxiety to excessive reactions to what other people think---strategies exist that can lessen the discomfort. The key to finding courage to approach any individual may just be a matter of shifting focus.
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Instructions
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Breathe deeply. Practice deep-breathing techniques to release anxiety and fear. Close your eyes. Focus on your breath for a count of four while you inhale, and then again, count to four as you exhale. Clear your thoughts as you do this. Repeat the exercise a few times and you will experience a sense of calm.
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Listen carefully. Instead of worrying about what you are going to say, focus on listening to what is being said. Showing an interest in someone's hobbies or activities will put them at ease and give you a direction for your questions. "What type of music do you listen to?" "How long have you been playing chess?" "I've always wished that I could paint."
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Initiate conversation with people of all ages. Grandparents, salespeople, technicians and teachers: the more you practice your conversation skills, the easier it will become.
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Remember that you are unique. Shy people often suffer from low self-esteem. Tell yourself that you are worthy of attention and that you have something to share. Spend a few minutes a day repeating some kind words about yourself: "I am a good and loyal friend." "People enjoy my sense of humor." "I am kind to animals."
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Tips & Warnings
Share what you know. If you play the saxophone or are a member of a hiking club, talk about it. Other people are interested in hearing what you have to say.
Join clubs and organizations. The other people will share your interests and it will be easy to have conversation.
Make eye contact. This shows others that you are interested in what they have to say.
