How to Help Your Son Overcome a Broken Heart

While dealing with your own relationship troubles is difficult, watching as your son experiences his own can be even more challenging. Finding the right way to approach him is an essential part of providing support. Learn how to offer your guidance without making your son feel weak or hopeless.

Instructions

1. Acknowledge that breakups hurt. Let your son know that breakups can cause stress and that his feelings are justifiable. Show him that, while you may not know the specifics of his situation, you still care about his feelings and well-being. Refrain from making insensitive comments, as these only serve to intensify negative thoughts.

2. Give support without making him feel smothered. Although it can be difficult to watch your son deal with the after-effects of a breakup, swooping in to rescue him from his problems can induce hostility. Study his reactions to your advice to adjust the amount of interactions accordingly. Don't get into shouting matches with him if he lashes out at you, or if he ignores your attempts to help.

3. Offer timeless advice along with your personal experiences of heartbreak. Welcome your son into the club of breakup survivors. Recount painful breakups in your own past to help break the ice and show him how you do understand his pain. While he may not readily appreciate being told that he'll soon move on from this experience or that life does indeed go on, ushering in reality helps him to stay grounded.

4. Encourage him to express his emotions. Let your son know that your ear is open to discuss his feelings. Listen to your son without making judgments or minimizing his feelings. Doing so could cause him to become withdrawn. Avoid probing for painful details, as your son will relay this information when he feels comfortable with these disclosures.

5. Stage an emotional intervention. Show your son that the world is still spinning by encouraging him to participate in social activities. Don't allow your son to wallow in self pity or to close himself off from friends and family. Getting his friends involved in your efforts can increase your effectiveness.

Tips & Warnings

• Keeping your past breakup experiences in mind can help you avoid saying or doing the "wrong" things.

• Giving your son some "breathing room" can make him more likely to stay levelheaded during his mourning period.

• Imparting the importance of dusting yourself off and progressing with your life can prepare your son for any future heartache.

• Avoid pressuring your son to start dating again. This tactic could backfire, as no one should start dating until he's emotionally ready.

• Watch for signs of depression, which may include withdrawing from normal activities, failing grades or talks of suicide.

References

• Kids Health: Getting Over a Breakup