Whenever death strikes a family member or friend, spouses, children, partners and other loved ones are typically left behind to mourn. Coming up with the right thing to say to them can be difficult, which is why a handwritten condolence note is a smart way to express your sympathies. Composing your thoughts onto paper allows you the chance to revise what you're trying to say in a difficult moment and lets the grieving person read and re-read your message at their leisure.
Purchase quality stationery, preferably with a muted theme that emphasizes nature, friendship or rebirth. Begin composing a condolence note by hand on printer paper or on your favorite computer word-processing program so you can easily make revisions.
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Acknowledge your friend or family member's loss in a single opening sentence or two that expresses your sorrow and sympathy over the bad news. Spend a few sentences emphasizing some of the strengths and endearing personal traits of the individual being mourned.
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Write a paragraph or two about a brief story that touched you in some way involving the deceased. Extend any help you can offer, such as an invitation to a phone call or a visit where you can spend time listening to and offering support for the grieving person.
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Write a conclusion to your condolence note that begins with an empathetic phrase, such as, "I'm thinking about you during this difficult time" or the person who died will be "terribly missed by his co-workers and me." Finish with a two- or three-word phrase, such as "With deepest sympathy" or "Your friend always."
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Hand write your final draft onto your stationery in neat printing or cursive. Place it in a matching envelope and attach the appropriate amount of postage, usually no more than a first-class stamp or two.
