How to Make Friends & Build Relationships

Learning how to make friends and build relationships with those you meet can be harder for some people than it is for others. Many feel nervous and even agonize over the thought of connecting with others in social situations. Taking small steps to meet others who share your interests and passions, in an environment where you can be yourself, will pay off in the long run. This is what will give you true lasting friendships rather than fleeting acquaintances.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

How to Make Friends

1. Join local groups that meet in your area that pertain to your interests. Don't dismiss the smaller roles in organizations such as theater groups, for example, because even if you are not interested in acting there are still artists that paint the sets or writers that help adapt stories to the stage.

2. Find out about classes put on by the local community center or college. Sign up for courses in creative writing, ceramics or other hobbies and you are sure to make friends with other classmates.

3. Volunteer at local charities throughout the year as well as during the holiday season. Help others who are in need in your community and you are sure to meet good people volunteering there as well.

4. Check out places where others who have interests similar to yours hang out. Go to poetry readings at the main street cafe or karaoke nights at the corner pub to make friends with those that like what you do.

5. Start a club of your own if you cannot find any that meet your tastes in your city. Start by taking out an ad in the local paper or putting up fliers at neighborhood establishments. Organize a book club that meets at the local coffee shop or movie group that gathers at the cinema and then goes for pizza afterward.

How to Build Relationships

6. Strike up conversations on neutral topics with those you meet. Keep your nerves under control by making "small talk." Ask them how they got interested in the event that you are attending.

7. Talk to them a few times in this "easy" setting to see how well your personalities mesh. Bring up other subjects when they come up naturally in these conversations.

8. Ask them if they would like to get a cup of coffee or check out a different place that offers similar entertainment or activities. Don't be disheartened if they decline as you never know the reason behind why they do. They honestly could be too busy--just leave it as an open invitation.

9. Share more about yourself, your background and other personal information, when the time feels right. Once you start to make friends you'll be more at ease at letting them into other aspects of your life.

10. Listen to them as you would want a friend to listen to you, and treat them with kindness and respect, even when you have opinions different from theirs. Be the friend to them that you want them to be to you and you are sure of building relationships that last a lifetime.

References

• Psychology Today: Do You Want the People on the Periphery of Your Life to Become More Consequential?

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