How to Express Your Condolences

Your words of condolence can help a grieving friend.

Expressing your condolences can be one of the most awkward things you have to do. What are the right words when someone has lost a loved one? How do you make a person feel better with the right words of sympathy? To express your condolences effectively, you first need to understand what the person is going through. Here's how to get started.

Instructions

1. Stop and think about your words of sympathy. Before you say anything, think long and hard about what the person must be feeling. Put yourself in their shoes as they grieve.

2. Express your condolences at the right time. Wait until you can speak with the person and give them your full attention. Words of sympathy must be spoken carefully so the person can take it all in.

3. Write a card of letter to express your thoughts. As a friend or relative grieves, you can make them feel much better by writing a short letter to let them knowing you are thinking about them.

4. Visit the house, but call first whenever you visit the home of a grieving family. Sometimes people are not up to entertaining visitors.

5. Invite someone to lunch to express condolences. Instead of visiting someone at their home, you can invite them out instead.

6. Stay in touch as time goes by. More often than not, people will need your sympathy months after the death has occured. Help the person by calling, writing and encouraging. Be a good listener.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid minimizing the loss or the person's grief.

• Ask how you can help. Offer to run errands, answer phone calls, bring food, or just to be there.

• Over time, watch for signs of depression, and suggest your friend find professional help if it does not abate, according to the American Hospice Foundation.

References

• Helpguide.org: Supporting a Grieving Person
• American Hospice Foundation; Helping Your Bereaved Friend; Helen Fitzgerald