How to Not Get Angry With Children

Children are a true joy and a gift to every parent, but parents get tired and children misbehave. Determining the correct response to a child's behavior or inability to follow directions can sometimes be difficult. Lack of sleep, lack of patience or general life stress can result in negative reactions to a child's behavior. Learning how to not get angry with children is a matter of staying calm, remembering that you are the parent or caregiver and that it is your job to resolve the situation.

Instructions

1. Clearly and calmly state the behavior you desire or direction you wish to be followed. Use a firm calm voice. Losing you temper shows a child that you aren't really in control of the situation. If you lose your temper, your child is more likely to lose hers.

2. Repeat all instructions that are not followed one time. The second time you repeat an instruction add a consequence for not following through. This "warning" will help your child understand later that her choice provoked an explained consequence and was not a spur of the moment or emotional decision. It will also help you keep your emotions in check when enforcing the consequence.

3. Follow through with any stated consequence if your child still refuses to change behavior or follow a particular direction. Whether this is a time out, a chore or the loss of a particular possession, it must be done. This helps show your parental authority and keeps emotion out of the situation.

4. Stay calm if your child refuses to accept the consequence. This is usually the time a parent will yell to show authority. Instead simply walk away and give your child a few minutes to think about his decision. Explain that extra consequences will be added.

5. Respond to shouting with a calm quiet voice and do not argue with your child. A screaming match only tells your child that he can manipulate you into an emotional response. Do not react to screaming or tears. Restate your consequence and walk away. Most children retreat to their bedrooms at this time. Let him go there and calm down.

6. Remember that if your child is being physically violent you should walk away and not retaliate in any way. If you truly feel unsafe and weaponry is involved, contact the local police department and explain the situation. Handling it yourself can become very dangerous very quickly. Teenagers especially are emotionally charged individuals and may react without thinking through. Walk away is the best advice.

7. Allow your child time to calm down and respond to your request. Often when children are not negatively confronted and have time to cool off and "think about what they have done," the calm silence is deafening. Allow him to apologize and carry out his consequence (punishment or chore) without any further negative response.

References

• PsychPage.com: Dealing with Anger and Children
• AttitudeMagazine.com: Disciplining Without Regret
• Consistent-Parenting-Advice.com: Anger Management

Resources

• JustMommies.com: When Moms Get Angry