How to Say Goodbye After a Sudden Death
A sudden death happens quickly and unexpectedly. When someone hears that a loved one has been a victim of sudden death, such as a miscarriage, murder or traumatic accident, they often undergo shock and disbelief. It is difficult to believe that the person you recently saw or spoke to is gone. Depending on the individual the grieving process may be delayed or instantaneous. Bidding farewell to a loved one who left you unexpectedly seems impossible, but it is necessary.
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Instructions
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Saying Goodbye after Sudden Death
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Share your feelings with someone who has suffered the same kind of sudden loss. Someone who understands what is like to lose someone to sudden death can offer you the level of support you require. A person who lost a loved one to terminal cancer may have felt grief but most likely she expected the death. Consequently, she may be able to sympathize with you on a general level but may not understand the shock of sudden death. Visit GriefNet.org, an internet community for individuals dealing with grief, major loss and death. They have many types of grief support groups you can join.
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Seek help if your emotional or physical health requires it. Losing someone to sudden death may cause you despair to the point where you neglect eating, sleeping or grooming yourself. Grief can also disrupt your work and social life, resulting in depression or isolation. If your health is suffering, talk to your physician or seek the help of a qualified mental health professional.
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Accept all your feelings resulting from the loss. Do not deny your feelings even if they are unpleasant. If you miss the person intensely, allow yourself to feel the accompanying emotions. If you want to cry, do so. Death causes many emotions that must be dealt with. Refusal to face these feelings may result in delayed grief, which can creep up on you months or even years later.
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Engage in activities that are positive. Accept invitations to socialize with family members and friends. Consider volunteering for a local charity, or broadening your educational or work opportunities.
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Understand that grief is a process. Everyone is different--while it may take one person three months to grieve, it may take another person a year or more. The key to saying goodbye to a loved one you lost to sudden death is to remember that you cannot say goodbye until you have grieved for them.
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