How to Help a Friend Who Lost a Spouse
Losing a spouse can be one of the most devastating and stressful times in a person's life. Facing a day-to-day routine filled with painful reminders of the loss can leave a person feeling isolated and depressed. If you have a friend who has lost a spouse, being present and supportive is vital in helping your friend move forward in a healthy manner.
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Instructions
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Listen. Grieving is a personal process that is different for everyone. Talking about emotions and memories is an important part of this process, and having a friend to listen without trying to "make it all better" is vital. Be there to listen and share in happy memories.
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Attend support groups together. Encourage your grieving friend to attend grief support groups and attend with him to help get him started. Grief support groups are offered via the funeral home, a church or through a hospital and are usually free of charge.
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Set a date night. Although your friend may not feel like going to a club, you can set a date each week to get together for coffee, a movie or shopping so that your friend doesn't isolate herself or become depressed without intervention.
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Get some reading materials. Plenty of books deal with the loss of a spouse, and if your friend is reluctant to get into therapy, a good self-help book may help give your friend ideas on how to lift the grief. Books like "Traveling through Grief: Learning to Live Again after the Death of a Loved One" by Susan Zonnebelt-Smeenge and Robert De Vries or "Finding Your Way After Your Spouse Dies" by Marta Felber, along with a blank journal can help a grieving friend move on.
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Take a trip together. After some time passes, begin to plan a getaway to renew his spirit. Whether it's a long weekend at a golf resort, a cruise or a tour of Europe, new experiences and memories can help lift the gloom of grieving, and the planning can help distract from loneliness.
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Sign up for classes. Take a class together to further structure your friend's evenings when she may miss her spouse the most. Learning a new craft or skill can help keep her mentally active and help fight isolation.
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Help with cleanup when the time is right. When your friend is ready to clear out her spouse's belongings, be there to support and help her go through the items. Find ways to happily reminisce about the spouse and allow her times to grieve or be sad when necessary.
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Tips & Warnings
Make a note on your calendar to call your friend a few times a week to see how he is doing and to prevent isolation.
Don't pressure your friend to move too fast through the grieving process. Everyone grieves differently, so be there to encourage and support without judgment.
