How to Get Over Being a Grouch

Member

By shenandoah
User-Submitted Article

Article Rating: (9 Ratings)

Grouch

Have you become a bit of a grouch? Do you feel short tempered, mean spirited, cranky, and intolerant pretty frequently?

You can get over being a grouch. Let's liberate the kinder, happier, more-pleasant-to-be-around version of you. Here's how.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Recognition that you are experiencing a reversible condition
Desire to get over whatever's making you act and feel like a grouch

Step 1

Reflect on 'When and With Whom' You are Grouchy

Is it worse when you're alone, like when you first wake up in the morning? Or have a whole day to yourself and just feel cranky and sour? Being grouchy with/about yourself is very different than being a grouch when you interact with others.

Do you turn up the grouch factor with certain family members? Or maybe you've developed a pattern of being grouchy with colleagues or bosses? Do friends' idiosyncrasies make you grouchy? Or people who seem to constantly want more time/favors/energy than you can give?

Maybe it's only with strangers you have contact with and are intolerant of, like cashiers and waiters? Do you act a grouch because you can and no one challenges you or calls you out for it?

Think about these conditions and people, to get to the root of your being a grouch. Find a pattern or explanation about 'when and who', then move to 'what'.
Step 2

Figure Out 'What' Triggers You to Be a Grouch

Consider physical reasons and the timing of your grouchiness:
- First trimester pregnancy? PMS? Menopause?
- Could it be sleep apnea? Not enough sleep generally? Disturbing dreams?
- Excess alcohol or drugs?
- Extreme levels of stress? Exhaustion from care taking a parent or sibling? - New baby in the house?

Rule out physical/physiological explanations, then move on to consider emotional issues are making you grouchy:

- Are you easily aggravated now, only recently? If you were on a psychiatrist's couch reflecting on this now, what would you say as to why?
- Do you suffer from frequent bouts of anxiety? Loneliness? confusion?
- Is there something you need to do or confront that's important and that you're avoiding?
- Are you feeling bitter, especially cynical or unhappy, and can't put your finger on why?
Step 3

Act to Eliminate the Triggers

Think through the conditions, circumstances and people that make you feel grouchy. It's a sign that you need to make an adjustment. Decide what you need to do to resolve whatever is contributing to your sour mood and dismal attitude. Make a list or a plan if that's helpful. If you don't believe you can get past it yourself, or don't feel you are making progress, get help, be it casual or professional. If your grouchiness worries you, is getting worse or seems deep-rooted, talk to a friend, see a counselor, go to a therapist. Do something about it!