How to React to Divorce Papers
Divorce is not fun for anyone. It is the end of a union that involves emotional, physical and legal turmoil. Divorce papers, whether the initiation paperwork or the closing signature page, are tough to receive or be served with, leading people to react in a variety of unhelpful ways. Staying calm, focused and alert to the content of the papers will help set you on the right path for a quick resolution to the matter.
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Instructions
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Resist the urge to scream, cry, shout, tear up or throw away the papers. When the initial application for divorce is filed, it often comes as a shock to one spouse who was, until that moment, wholly unaware of there being a problem. Being served divorce papers can be devastating, but it's important to check your reaction. No legal matter is ever solved with emotion.
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Open the envelope and read through the divorce papers. You may not understand everything you read because of the density of legal jargon, but you can check the stated reason for the divorce, the court case number, the requests regarding property, possessions and custody, as well as any expected response date. Note this information on a pad and paper.
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Call your lawyer or call a lawyer referral service in your area to find a lawyer and set up an appointment. Referral services are often run through the county court system. Call the courts and ask for recommendations including, if applicable, the process for pro bono representation.
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Create a list of questions you want to ask your lawyer. Don't be embarrassed or think any questions too obvious or simple to ask. Divorce is confusing and overwhelming, and even the smallest point may be important. Jot down a list of things you need to know during the first meeting. After the first meeting you will probably have more, so don't overwhelm yourself.
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Make two more copies of the divorce papers. Some lawyers provide copies; most do not. This way, you can hand one over to your lawyer, keep one for court and use one for making notes. In the case one copy gets lost, you will have a spare. Often the lawyer's paralegal will make the copies for you free of charge.
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Meet with the lawyer to ask questions and determine how to proceed. Depending on what stage of the divorce you are in, the advice will differ. Often a counterfiling is necessary. The lawyer will walk you through this step and make recommendations.
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Follow all of your lawyer's suggestions and meet deadlines, court appearances and filing times. This is important to the outcome of the case. Divorce is not easy; trying to react to it calmly is the best way to speed things along.
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