How to Save A Marriage by Fighting Fair and Solving Marital Problems
While some people think that a healthy, successful marriage involves no fighting between the two parties, fighting is often a normal part of any relationship. Because no two people are exactly the same, even the best matched couple is going to have a disagreement every now and then. The secret to a strong marriage is not in the lack of arguing; it lies in the way a couple argues. When a couple fights fair, everybody wins.
Other People Are Reading
Instructions
-
-
1
Remain calm when you approach the discussion. Avoid raising your voice. A fight does not necessitate loud voices and anger. Instead, it can be a rational conversation between two people who want to work things out.
-
2
Avoid placing the blame on your spouse. Instead of accusing your spouse of a misdeed, begin your statements with "I feel...when you..." to let him or her know how you feel about what is going on. This avoids putting your spouse on the defensive and creates a level playing field for both of you.
-
-
3
Listen to what your spouse has to say. It is easy to focus on how you are feeling and to forget that your spouse has a side as well. Let your spouse talk and explain why they did what they did and how they are feeling about the situation.
-
4
Leave the past in the past. Forgiveness is an important aspect of any relationship. While you may be able to forgive someone, it is difficult to actually forget the event. However, do not bring up something that your spouse did in the past as part of your argument. Focus on the present and the current situation.
-
5
Avoid making threats, especially those you do not mean. For instance, don't tell your spouse you want a divorce simply because you want him to pick up his dirty laundry. Don't tell your spouse you are going to stay with your mom who lives 500 miles away because he had to work late one night. If his behavior upsets you, help him to work out a solution rather than making empty threats.
-
1
Tips & Warnings
Seek the help of a counselor if the two of you cannot seem to reach an agreement on your own. There is no shame in seeking help from an outside party to resolve a situation with which you are struggling.
References
- Photo Credit Jupiterimages, Brand X Pictures/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images
