How to Handle a Man Who Plays Games in Dating

It can be frustrating to date a man who insists on playing games rather than being a straight shooter with you. If you're the type of person who takes things to heart, it can make you feel like you are not a desirable partner. You do not have to accept this behavior. While you can't control what your man does, you certainly can control how you react to it.

Instructions

1. Identify the game-playing behavior. Does he wait until the last minute to call? Does he ignore you when you're in public, while flirting with other women? Does he sulk when he doesn't get his way, but then claim that "nothing's wrong"? Once you identify the games that your man is playing, it is easier to handle the situation. Game playing is an attempt to manipulate the other person, and needs to be addressed.

2. Decide if you want to keep seeing him. Do you really want to continue dating a man who is prefers game playing to honesty? Divide a sheet of paper in half. Write the things you like about him on one side, and things you don't on the other. Which side is longer? Which side has the things that you most value in a partner? Perhaps he has many other attributes that keep you interested and you decide to stay with him. If this is the case, the game playing will need to be addressed.

3. Be yourself. Don't let your dating partner's game-playing behavior change the way you behave. Try your best not to allow the game playing to make you feel insecure or inferior in any way. Keep in mind that game playing is not authentic interaction, and that it in no way reflects on you personally. This mindset will give you the strength to deal with the game playing without become part of the game.

4. Do not make up any games of your own. Make sure that you are not engaging in any game playing yourself, albeit of a different sort. Evaluate your own behavior. Do you try to make him jealous? Do you try to manipulate him into buying you things? If you play games, it isn't fair to expect him to behave any differently. Do not begin playing his games, regardless of how tempting it might be. If he has been "busy" for the past two weeks and then decides to call you at the last minute to ask you to dinner, decide if you want to see him or not. You do not also have to pretend to be busy. Choose to not let his behavior influence yours in any way.

5. Address the game playing directly. Sit down with the guy you are seeing and tell him that his behavior points to game playing. Tell him what your expectations are for dating. Make it clear that you want to be communicated with in an honest and transparent way. Let him decide whether he wants to meet those expectations or not. If he continues to play games with you, he is telling you what his decision is. At this point, you must decide if you are going to continue to see a man who continues to play games, or if you are going to move on. If you continue to see him and he does not change his behavior after your talk, chances are, he will never change how he treats you. In the words of the editor of Baggage Reclaim, "Take the rose-tinted glasses off honey, he's not into you."

References

• Baggage Reclaim