How to Rescue Someone From an Abusive Relationship
Domestic abuse is a worldwide epidemic that affects everyone, regardless of race, sex, financial status or religion. There's the side that we can see---it can be as obvious as a black eye or a broken arm. But a much more powerful form of domestic abuse tears down victims' self-esteem, consuming them with feelings of hopelessness and guilt and causing them to withdraw from those who love and care about them the most. This is called emotional abuse, and it's much more damaging because in time, physical wounds can heal, but emotional scars can last a lifetime.
Perhaps you know someone who's in the midst of an abusive relationship and can't find a way out. It might even be you. This article is for those who suffer in silence...help is just a phone call away.
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Things You'll Need
- Shelter
- Money
- Reliable transportation
- Personal necessities
- Emotional support and counseling
- Spiritual guidance
Instructions
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Be Assertive in Your Efforts
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Take swift action to get the abused person away from immediate danger. Call the local authorities if you see someone being abused. You may also call 9-1-1 and the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) anytime, day or night.
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Realize, first and foremost, that you cannot rescue someone who is unwilling to help herself. She may resist your efforts and push you away, so be prepared to step aside, and let her resolve when to leave the relationship.
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Provide resources so that when she is ready to leave, she'll have a place to lay her head, food to eat and other basic necessities. Invite her to stay with you, a trusted family member or a friend who is willing to help, or pay for temporary housing until she gets back on her feet, if you are able.
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Take her to the nearest Office of Family Support, if she has limited means (low income). Here, she can apply for various types of assistance: food stamps; Women, Infants, and Children (WIC); job assistance; legal assistance; childcare assistance; child support and other important programs that can help her as she tries to establish a new life.
Teenage Victims
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Talk to your teenager if you suspect she is in an abusive relationship. Your approach will differ from the one you would use when dealing with an adult, so choose your words carefully, but continue to be firm and emphasize that it is a dangerous and unhealthy relationship, one that must end immediately.
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Take control of the situation and get her some help. Most of all, give her plenty of love, attention and encouragement. Listen, reassure and let her know she is not to blame and she is not alone. Now is not the time to lecture.
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Spend time together and get her involved in various activities to give her something positive to look forward to. Invite her to work out with you. This will provide an outlet to release tension and get a great workout, while boosting her self-confidence (when she sees how fabulous she looks).
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Tips & Warnings
Men can be victims as well, but most are too ashamed to come forward for fear of being ridiculed and judged.
Abuse is never ever excusable, even if the person hits you first. Instead of reacting impulsively, remove yourself from the scenario immediately, before something happens that both of you will regret.
Don't forget to take care of yourself as you intervene to protect someone else. Seek spiritual and emotional counseling not only for the victim of abuse, but also for yourself, because the turmoil will be a heavy cross to bear.
