How to Find a Friend in Prison
Entering prison is an enormously frightening experience. Not only are you faced with the challenge of navigating a new, extremely hostile environment, but, in most cases, you're tasked with doing it by yourself, without the aid of allies or companions. Making friends in prison is therefore a critical enterprise, one which will save you much grief and possibly even your life. Yet, who to make friends with and how presents it own set of complications and anxieties. The following is a series of steps to making a friend in your new home.
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Instructions
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Hire a prison consultant or prison coach before you're incarcerated, if you can afford it. According to SurvivingInPrison.com, an experienced prison consultant will educate you on the details of the prison to which you'll be assigned and advise you on specific strategies for finding allies once you're inside.
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Stick to your own kind. According to the Criminals Wanted blog, no matter how progressive your own views regarding race are, once in prison you are going to be expected to stick to your own kind--at least initially. Although after awhile your circle of friends can expand, at first you'll be expected to hang with your own race or ethnicity: whether you're black, white or Hispanic, start out mingling with your own.
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Don't join a gang, although the temptation to make a quick circle of friends is tempting. Gangs demand total commitment and loyalty and, although membership provides you with a group of allies to watch your back, the tasks assigned to you will be unsavory, dangerous and unrewarding enough that you're better off striking out on your own.
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Don't be a snitch. Nobody likes a snitch, at least not in prison. Although ingratiating yourself to the guards is a good idea, doing it by relaying information about the activities of other inmates is not the way to go about it. Snitching will, at best, mark you as an individual who can't be trusted and, at worst, get you injured or killed. Besides, the guards, although potential sources of aid and information, will never be your friends.
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Begin to identify potential candidates for friendship. According to the book "Behind Bars: Surviving in Prison" by Jeffrey Ian Ross and Stephen C. Richards, you should begin this search with those people with whom you will be spending the most time: the members of your cell, your cell block, and your activity and program partners. Due to the prison's organizational structure, not only will you likely have more in common with these people than with other inmates, you will also have the most opportunities to exchange favors with them.
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Find others who share your interests. Friendships based on being mutually useful to one another are less friendships than alliances. Try to bond with another inmate over nonpenal subjects, such as music, sports or religion, as this will forge a more profound closeness.
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Tips & Warnings
Don't abuse or take advantage of your friendship. Prison etiquette, which can supersede individual friendships, may force that person to retaliate.
