How to Negotiate Child Custody and Divorce
Most judges prefer that couples negotiate child custody and divorce settlements outside of court rather than involving the legal system in the details of the separation. Effective negotiations require both parties to be calm, reasonable and willing to compromise. If you have a contested divorce or have difficulty negotiating with your spouse on your own, consider seeking professional mediation services. Because it is often difficult to look at child custody and divorce issues objectively, many couples find it useful to employ a neutral third party to assist in negotiating a settlement.
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Instructions
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Present your spouse with a written proposal. It is often easier to evaluate an offer when it is in writing. In lieu of lengthy discussions, draft a child custody and divorce agreement to use as starting point for your negotiation.
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Be reasonable in your requests. As you think about what you want from a divorce settlement and child custody agreement, assess whether you are being fair to your spouse.
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Decide on what issues you are flexible. Make a list of issues that you need to negotiate in your child custody and divorce agreement and determine which ones are the most important. Mark the important items and use the rest of your list as a bargaining tool with your sitdown with your spouse or mediator.
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Provide suggestions in addition to criticisms. When your spouse makes you an offer that you do not feel comfortable accepting, provide a counter-proposal. Rejecting offers without suggesting alternative solutions makes it difficult to reach an agreement.
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Take time to consider your spouse's offers before accepting or declining them. Most couples will not be able to negotiate a child custody and divorce settlement in one sitting, so if necessary, take a few days to think about what your spouse is offering before you give her a final answer.
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Tips & Warnings
If you have a divorce lawyer, ask her to review your settlement documents before you sign them.
Do not engage in attacks of name-calling during your negotiation, even if your spouse instigates the argument.
