How to Give a Toast for a Bride

It has the potential to be the most agonizing three minutes of your bridal party life. But it doesn't have to be that way. Raise your glass in praise of the bride--and yourself--by keeping your words short and personal.

Instructions

How to Give a Toast for a Bride

1. Remember that tradition is why you are standing before hundreds of people with a champagne glass in your hand. Ask anyone to remember the toasts to the brides of weddings pasts, and it would be amazing to hear any recitations. It may make you feel better to remember that your words probably won't be remembered for posterity. You are where you are because of tradition. With that frame of mind, you may agonize over your words less.

2. Be prepared. Know that even if you don't like public speaking, if you try to fight the forces calling you to the stage, you will be defeated quite sadly. At one wedding when the father of the groom was called to toast the couple, he took the microphone and said only, "To the happy couple!" He was embarrassed--and so was everyone else. Think through what you will say, write out a few notes on an index card and practice in front of trusted friends or the mirror. The more you practice, the more likely your words are to flow naturally and the more likely you are to feel confident about the task at hand.

3. Say what you know and mean. The best toasts to a bride are the ones that reflect both truth and affection. They endear you to the bride, to the guests and to the moment. Say something that will be meaningful and encouraging to the bride. One wedding toast especially touching came from an older unmarried sister to her younger, newly wedded sister: "Michelle, I am the older sister. But there have been so many times in my life when I've felt like you have been the older sister to me. I'm so thankful for you and your loving guidance in my life."

4. Consider the groom. It can feel awkward to toast the bride without mentioning her man. It's fine to briefly mention the groom in your speech. An example: "Mandi, you have been my best friend and compassionate confidant since we found each other in Miss Anderson's second-grade class. I love you. I'm so excited that you have found a new best friend and confidant. Andrew, you have brought so much laughter and love into Mandi's life. I wish the two of you joy as you graduate into a new life together."

5. Get inspiration from those who have toasted before you. The wedding etiquette expert Emily Post thinks there is no shame in using pre-written toasts. Just don't forget to make them your own by adding a few personal touches.

6. Aim for brevity. The best bridal toasts are the ones that don't ramble. Keep your toast between one and three minutes, and you'll be drinking champagne and sighing relief before you know it.

References

• Emily Post