How to Encounter Behavioral Problems in Children
Children often act out of context to gain self-gratification or attention. Understanding how to respond to this improper behavior is key as a child's personality develops and matures. Parents often find themselves overwhelmed when specific techniques and talks do nothing, and the child continues to misbehave. Using the techniques below can approach these behavioral issues in a firm, compassionate manner that gives the child a better understanding of proper behavioral expectations.
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Instructions
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The Task List
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Make a list of daily tasks that you wish the child to complete. Tasks such as putting away toys, brushing teeth, eating properly at dinnertime, going to bed and completing homework are acceptable to list.
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Record on a scale of one to 10, next to each task, how well the child executed the task and listened when told to by authority figure. Ten represents great listening skills and compliance; one represents poor listening skills and no compliance. This will give the parent a better understanding of which behavioral problems the child may have. For instance, if the child received two or three scores lower than five, the child obviously has an issue with authority.
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Choose the two tasks that received the lowest score for your child's compliance. The parent must execute immediate action to alter the response of the child when asked to complete these two tasks -- see reinforcement section two. Your child's completion of the two tasks will be tested throughout the course of one week.
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Record the child's compliance once more, using the scale of one through 10. The child must be making improvement -- receiving a higher number on compliance on the task sheet for the two tasks chosen. The child should be given one week for improvement in behavior. You may not choose two different tasks for the child to improve on until these two tasks are mastered.
Proper Reinforcement
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Explain to the child his behavior will no longer be tolerated and must improve in order to have privileges. Remind the child that television, visiting friends, playing with toys and attending birthday parties are all privileges and will no longer be available if negative behavior continues.
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Punish the child when he does wrong. Reluctance to punish a child for bad behavior leaves the parent at the mercy of the child. Punish the child by taking away privileges listed above or placing the child in a "time out" session. Time out requires sitting the child in a chair facing towards a wall so the child cannot participate in any activities.
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Explain to your child why he is being punished. The child must have full understanding as to why he is being punished and what behavior is not acceptable. Assure the child that you do love him and that the punishment is out of love for the child. Encourage the child, after a punishment session, to explain what he has learned from the experience.
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Do not argue with a child. Children often scream or raise their voice when punished or made aware of wrong-doing. Do not raise your voice in response to the child; instead react with a calm voice and explain that yelling will only increase the duration and extremity of the punishment. Arguing back with a child sidetracks the parent's mind from executing proper punishment and allows anger to control all aspects of communication with the child.
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Reward good behavior. When a child completes a series of tasks when told to do so, reward the child. Obviously the child cannot be rewarded for every little task completed, so reward the child when he completes two or more tasks without complication. This demonstrates that good behavior is accepted and rewarded in the end as opposed to negativity and disobedience.
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Tips & Warnings
Disobedience in some children can result in violence. If your child has been displaying violent tendencies and gestures towards anyone, consult a counselor immediately for further assistance. If bad behavior is excessive, consult your primary care physician for further testing regarding the child's mental health.
