How to Deal With Defiant Teens
Most parents are familiar with the term "terrible twos" when referring to the temper tantrums and general difficult behavior children display when they are around two years of age. Unfortunately, this is only a preview of what is going to happen when they grow into teenagers. Most children between the ages of 12 to 18 are going to have moody and challenging periods. It is your job as a parent to decide if this is just normal teenage behavior or if your teen is troubled. Depending on which your teen is will determine how you should proceed.
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Instructions
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Determine if your teen is troubled. Signs to look for are lying, animal or people abuse, running away from home, vandalism, suicide threats, skipping school, stealing and signs of drug use. Parents should seek professional help if they suspect their teen is troubled. Start with your doctor. She may recommend certain tests that can determine which treatment program is best for your teen, from boot camps to therapy sessions.
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Do not use threats unless you plan to carry them out. It is counter-productive no matter what age child you have to threaten a punishment that you do not fulfill. This will often exacerbate bad behaviors. Your words have no meaning when you do this, and your child or teen may lose respect for you.
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You and your spouse must be a team. It is important that your teen know that he cannot come between his parents. If one parent allows a behavior the other parent doesn't allow, the teen has now found a crack in your armor, so to speak, and will use your lack of cohesion to divide and conquer.
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Be consistent with your behavior. If you do not always react the same way to your teen's behavior and just base your responses on your particular mood, you may be asking for disobedience. Your teen needs to know that every time she acts a certain way, the punishment will be the same.
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Be supportive. Often when times are difficult, the parent forgets that their teen is still dependent and needs comfort and support. Practice some patience and let your teen know that you are there for him and that you love and support him.
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