How to Overcome Fear of Initimacy
Intimacy is a bond developed in romantic relationships by sharing deeply held beliefs and core values, according to Harriet Lerner, author of "The Dance of Connection." Over time intimacy builds a strong foundation for a healthy relationship that is based on trust and respect, but in order to get there you must be able to be vulnerable with the other person.
The fear of intimacy can stem from the fear of being open to criticism, as being vulnerable allows the other person to see you for who you really are. In order to establish a connection and deepen a budding romance, you'll need to sharpen your communication skills and deal with your personal issues.
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Instructions
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Express yourself honestly. Hiding how you really feel is a sign of your fear of intimacy. When you are upset, tell your partner so that she does not have to guess how you're feeling or what you're thinking. Although you shouldn't verbalize every complaint or thought that comes to mind, letting your partner know if something is wrong helps deepen the relationship.
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Wait on sex. When emotions are high it is easy to take your new relationship to another level by having sex, but it can complicate the relationship due to the amount of vulnerability in the act. Sex can accelerate the relationship, but if you haven't established a certain level of intimacy it can damage the emotional connection if one person isn't ready to be emotionally vulnerable, according to Joy Browne, author of "Dating for Dummies."
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Build trust. Trust allows your partner to get closer to you by getting to know you, and should not be rushed, according to Browne. Trust means being about to talk about private information and feeling safe that the person will not divulge your secrets to his friends. Trust can also be built by listening to the other person when he is talking, as it shows genuine interest in his life. The more you spend time with him, the deeper your trust develops over time.
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See a therapist. If your fear of intimacy stems from your childhood or a previous relationship it can be difficult to move forward and not have it spill over into your new relationship. A therapist can help you work out your past issues, which can give you the necessary tools for a healthy relationship by overcoming your insecurities.
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