How to Correct Aggressive Behavior in 4-Year-Olds
Most preschool-aged children exhibit occasional aggressive behaviors such as hitting, biting, kicking or shoving. While frustrating and often embarrassing for parents, these behaviors are quite normal. According to Dr. Robert Needleman of DrSpock.com, children might be more prone to aggressive behavior at this age since much of the imaginative play at this age centers on aggressive themes such as ninjas or superheroes. Stay calm and help your child monitor her own behavior by consistently following a calm discipline routine that helps your child sort out desirable from undesirable behaviors.
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Instructions
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Remove your child from the situation and place him in a brief time-out. Pediatrician and child development expert Dr. William Sears suggests one minute per year of age as a good guideline for a time-out length. Use a quiet, consistent location for the time-out if possible and set an alarm clock or timer so that your child knows when she can leave the time-out spot.
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Keep your cool. Do not lose your temper with your child or respond erratically or angrily to aggressive behavior. Practice consistent discipline by always responding to your child's behavior in a similar way.
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Discuss the situation with your child after he calms down. Dr. Susan Campbell, the author of "Behavior Problems in Preschool," suggests asking questions about how the behavior made the other child feel and linking it to how your child felt when he committed the act of aggression. Suggest alternative plans of action such as finding an adult to help settle the disagreement and remind your child to always use his words to help solve his problems rather resorting to aggression.
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Reinforce positive behaviors and praise your child accordingly. Dr. Sears notes that time-out basically means that you temporarily remove children from positive reinforcement. In order for this discipline strategy to work, you need to follow a connected parenting style in which your child regularly gets lots of attention and "time-in."
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Tips & Warnings
Monitor and limit your child's TV exposure so that he does not regularly witness acts of violence or aggression. Even simple children's cartoons can be rife with pushing, shoving, and yelling. Watch shows with your child when possible and talk about aggressive behaviors.
Model gentle behavior for your child so he will know the way you want him to behave.
Seek help if your child's aggressive behavior occurs frequently. According to Dr. Campbell, 4-year-olds should be able to self-regulate violent behaviors. If biting, hitting, and/or attacks on other children or adults happens regularly and interfere with school or other activities, visit your pediatrician for advice as to whether your child might need counseling with a child psychologist or psychiatrist.
