How to Protect Your Relationship From Financial Stress

Are you and your honey caught in the throes of the current recession? Has your alone time together turned into worried discussions or arguments about money or possible layoffs or unemployment?

Money is a leading cause of divorce in America. Don't let your temporary financial worries create a permanent rift in your relationship. Use this time to instead create a stronger bond between you--as you discover your partner's financial personality.

Difficulty:

Moderate

Instructions

1. Talk with your partner and find out about her financial personality. Find out if your partner is a spendthrift or a saver, conservative or a risk taker. Go beyond the obvious and find out what kind of attitudes and beliefs her parents taught her about money. Did she come from a working-class background? If so, then your partner may understand the value of a dollar earned or saved much better than if she is a trust-fund baby.

2. Assess both your and your partner's current financial situations and habits. Are you and your partner paying your bills on time? What kind of liquid and real assets do you have? Is one of you able (and willing) to loan the other money if necessary? It is important to hash these issues out now, before you move in together or get married.

3. Be willing to show your partner a copy of your credit report--and ask your partner to reciprocate. Don't let your partner's debt load take you by surprise later, when it will be harder to deal with. This is especially true if one of you has unpaid back taxes at either the federal or state level. If this is the case, you or your partner may need to apply for innocent spouse relief.

4. Work out a budget with your partner if you are married or live together. Take turns paying for various items, and agree upon when you will open a joint bank account. Although having separate accounts may seem like a good way to maintain healthy boundaries, it can also foment financial secrecy.

5. Visit a financial planner or debt counselor either alone or with your partner for a professional assessment of your situation. He can offer valuable tips specific to your situation that can help the two of you successfully negotiate your finances.

Tips & Warnings

• To find out about innocent spouse relief, visit either the IRS website or your state's income tax website for more information. Type "innocent spouse relief" into the search bar on the appropriate site, and it will direct you to the appropriate page.