How to Handle Conflict & Communication in a Marriage
In the article "Making Your Marriage Work" featured in Self Help magazine, Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus says that, "Being able to communicate is one of the greatest assets in any relationship." Communication skills are essential in maintaining positive relations with your spouse and resolving conflicts as they occur. If you want to handle conflict and improve the communication in your marriage, you simply have to change the way you and your spouse communicate with one another.
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Instructions
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Identify sources of conflict. According to the University of Missouri Extension, four common causes of conflict in a marriage are money, in-laws, sex, and child rearing. Knowing that these can cause problems in a marriage can help to prevent conflicts from occurring.
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Arrange a format for communication with your spouse. Take turns in your conversations about conflict, and seek to understand the other person before seeking to be understood. Work out a mutual give and take in your conversations, and arrange times to have a productive talks rather than attempting to spontaneously find time. This will ensure that you have the time to productively complete your conversation and not be interrupted in the middle.
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Make your marriage a safe place for both people. Dreyfus advises, "Confront and master the inevitable crises of life and maintain the strength of the marital bond in the face of adversity and create a safe haven within the marriage for the expression of difference, anger, and conflict." Your marriage should be a port in stormy seas, not the cause of further conflict.
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Put your relationship first. You and your spouse both came from separate families, but when you get married you need to change the nature of the relationships with those families so you can form a new family together. You will still be a part of your own families, but now you need to put each other before your relationships with parents and siblings. At the same time, if you have children, devote yourself to them without forgetting your spouse. Face the challenges of parenthood together, aligning your perspectives as partners.
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