How to Improve Empathetic Listening Skills

Listening is an important skill in any situation. Empathetic listening is a concentrated effort to ensure that the speaker feels that you are truly comprehending and valuing them without judgment. It is a skill that may not come naturally but can be improved.

Instructions

    • 1

      Make a conscious decision to listen empathetically. This can mean closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, or consciously putting all other thoughts out of your head.

    • 2

      Make sure you can listen without judgment. Peter Gerlach, who has provided research, education and therapy to stepfamilies for 30 years, calls this a "respect check" on how you honestly feel about the speaker.

    • 3

      Insert comments about what the speaker is saying during pauses in his speaking. For example, you might say "It seems as if you are having trouble with..." Make sure these comments are non-judgmental.

    • 4

      Communicate with your facial expressions and body language that you are truly listening, without judgment. This can mean leaning in or keeping eye contact. Do your best not to fidget, sigh, yawn or interrupt. All of these tell the speaker that you are no longer listening and interested in what she is saying.

    • 5

      Say things like "tell me more" to encourage the speaker. This shows him that you are interested, you value him and you are not passing judgment or offering commentary or advice unless they ask.

Tips & Warnings

  • Be careful not to ask questions or comment on your own feelings about what the speaker is saying.

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