How to Find Birth Mothers After Adoption
Individuals who make the decision to find their birth mother must often confront a tangle of legal red tape to gain access to their adoption information. Since adoption laws are set by the state in which the adoption takes place, it is hard to find standard procedures for locating birth parents. Before the Internet age, adoptees often spent countless hours calling or writing to various state agencies in an effort to find their birth parents. Adoptees prepared with patience and perseverance can use a number of Internet databases and resources to aid their search.
Other People Are Reading
Instructions
-
-
1
Make a list of everything you know about your birth mother, such as the city she lived in, her first or last name, her appearance and her approximate age. Talk to your adoptive parents and write down any information they can share with you, such as the whether the adoption was private or through an agency, the hospital in which you were born, the name of the agency if one was involved, and their memories of your birth mother if they met her. Gather any papers pertaining to your birth and adoption, such as your amended birth certificate and adoption paperwork.
-
2
Register in a mutual consent registry such as the ISRR, International Soundex Reunion Registry. These registries, run by private or government entities, allow birth parents and their birth children to record their information within the registry in the hopes of locating each other.
-
-
3
Check the procedure for requesting adoption information from the state that handled your adoption. In open-record states, you only need to ask to gain full access to your adoption records. Closed-record states seal adoption records and will not allow the adoptee access to this information, but can provide you with non-identifying information about your birth parents such as their ages, health status, eye and hair color, education level and ethnicity. This information can help you in your search for your birth mother.
-
4
Write a letter to your birth parents and find out from your state the procedures for posting this letter. Some states will allow it to be placed within the original adoption file while others follow a different protocol. Include pertinent contact information as well as your desire for contact.
-
5
Join adoption support groups and mailing lists both in your current area and the area in which you were born. Individuals in these groups can provide first-hand knowledge and experience on the process of seeking birth parents.
-
6
Consider hiring a confidential intermediary to assist in your search. Confidential intermediaries are trained and certified by the various states and have access to sealed adoption records. According to the confidential intermediary program in Illinois, more than 90 percent of requested relatives throughout the past 10 years have been located. While the confidential intermediary program can be expensive, it can offer many adoptees a direct path to their relatives.
-
1
Tips & Warnings
Check with your state to find the minimum age you must be to gain access to your adoption information.
When looking for state records, start with the state in which the adoption was finalized rather than the one in which you were born
