How to Get Fired Gracefully

Leaving a job against your will is never easy, whether you've been fired, laid-off, downsized or any other euphemism you care to assign it. The problem, at its root, is pride--you feel wounded, unappreciated, wonder why you have to go while others stay--often people you know are less talented and productive than you. The key to surviving such a dark day, however--and the ones in its immediate aftermath--is to show grace under pressure. Not because it's the "cool" thing to do, but because flying off the handle and telling people off will definitely do you future harm--and the temporary self-satisfaction it gives you is fleeting indeed. Here are the dos and don'ts of leaving a job with dignity--and keeping future doors open.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Self-control
• Forward-thinking

1. DON'T react to the news with anger, or say something like: "Why me? Why not so-and-so?" The person who is letting you go is in a tough spot too, so recognize that, and also, that very same person may be an ally in the future (unless you're being fired for embezzling or something else that leaves the company no choice in the matter). The best response to the news is this (and you can take this from me, a guy who's been laid off in huge corporate cutbacks more than once): "I imagine it isn't easy for you to deliver such news. Sorry you're the one to have to do it. Now, tell me, what's the next step in the process?"

2. DO tell the person as you leave that you've enjoyed working with him/her, learned a lot and hope to get a chance to do it again sometime. When you boost their ego when they expect you to be down, it shows them something about your character.

3. DON'T attack colleagues you never liked in conversation with others who will stay behind with the company. Look, it's inevitable that when you leave a job unexpectedly, the people who like you will say: "Hey, let's go get a drink," to show their support and friendship. So do that, but while you're talking, don't fall into the trap of talking trash about their still fellow employees. Instead, focus on the people who are doing you a good turn, and tell them how much you value their support and loyalty.

4. DO send an email to everyone you worked with, even those you didn't like or see eye to eye with; that says you're leaving with no ill will toward the company, have enjoyed your time there and wish them continued success. For those who don't know you well, this is you leaving on a high note, and they'll remember it.

5. DON'T single people out in that email, whether they are favorites of yours or not so much.

6. DO separately contact people with whom you've worked closely, who were allies and friends, and tell them how much it meant to you to work with them. Again, focus on them; make them feel good about themselves. It'll pay off for you down the road.

[johngriggs]

on 11/22/2009 Another thing I would recommend is during the exit interview is ask for advice on answering the question "Why did you leave your last job?" in future interviews. You sometimes will get some valuable advice to help you land your next job!

Great article - 5*

[suziecat7]

on 11/22/2009 Great article though I doubt I could be so gracious.

[george185]

on 11/21/2009 Great advice, but what do you think of the temper tantrum approach?

[artistscape]

on 11/21/2009 Thank you for the article. I have had experience with this on both sides of the desk, 'it is difficult to stay positive when going through something like this. Your article helped give me some perspective.

[doitrightnow]

on 11/21/2009 True this. Remember, the boss who has to break the news often feels worse about it than the person who is getting the boot. Personal experience on that one.