How to Help a Friend or Family Member that has a Special Needs Child

Raising a special needs child is very challenging, it takes a ton of work and often leaves the parents especially the daily caregiver exhausted. Parents of a special needs child really need friends and family members to help, but they are sometimes hesitant to speak up. Here are some ways that you can help them out.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Bring food.
   
   Meal times can be a real hassle in a special needs household. Many times the child will have special dietary restrictions that take special preparation and this is the time child seem to be the least patient and the crankiest. It would be a big help to offer to bring a meal once in a while. Always ask first, though. Find out what the child is allowed to eat and make sure not to fix anything the child may be allergic to.

2. Offer to babysit their children.
   
   This is a huge one! Many parents of special needs children get very little time alone. The stress level of always being a caregiver is very high. They need a break. Always find out if there are special considerations when babysitting a special needs child. Also remember the parents may be very nervous about leaving this child with you. This is not a slight on your ability this is just because they know how much more challenging it is to care for their child.

3. Go to appointments with them.
   
   Most of the time, only one parent is able to make the appointments. These appointments can sometimes be long, stressful and emotionally challenging. The parent needs someone to lean on and needs someone to help them remember all the details. It is also helpful having more than one person help entertain the child/ children while waiting.

4. Ask how you can help.
   
   Don’t assume you know what they need. Ask. There are some many facets to raising a special needs child. Different things are challenging for different parents. Just asking how you can help can help ease the burden.

5. Listen to them.
   
   It is very stressful to raise a special needs child. Sometimes the parent just needs someone to talk to, to bounce ideas off of.

6. Be understanding with them.
   
   Understand that their time and money is very limited and they may not get to do the things that other parents do. They are not trying to brush you off when you invite them to dinner and they decline, they are just busy, stressed and possibly broke. Don’t be offended when they turn down a play date, it could be that they have already had 3 doctor appointments that week and just really need to get caught up on the housework. Special needs parents just don’t have a lot of time. Try to be understanding.

7. Be patient with their child.
   
   Some special needs children have behavioral issues too. Some special needs children do not understand social boundaries or they “act odd”. Try to be patient with the child. The child is not trying to get on your nerves, he/ she is just different.

8. Don’t judge the parents.
   
   Most special needs children have to be raised differently than “normal” children. Rules will be different, as will discipline. Parents of special needs children are most likely being advised by many different experts. Try to understand that the parents are having to do what is best for their child and their family. It may be completely different than what you think should be done, but you’re not the one raising a special needs child, so you really don’t know how it is suppose to be done. Don’t judge the parents on their parenting style or interfere unless that parent is being abusive or neglectful, because you do not know what they have been advised by their doctors to do.