How to Reform a Party Boy

Some things are impossible tasks, universal laws set in stone, literal archetypes of That’s Just The Way It Is. Such examples include trying to comprehend the ever-changing moodscape of the fairer sex, attempting to get between a man and his Super Bowl or trying to see the light go off in your refrigerator. Interfere with these and you risk your health, mental or otherwise.

But lo and behold, Katy Perry, she of "I kissed a girl" song fame has succeeded where so many others have failed: reforming a Party Boy. She's quelled British comedian and celebrated Lothario Russell Brand into submission. After years of playful promiscuity, he is thinking of monogamy and (gasp!) family.

Other women throughout time have managed this Herculean feat. Think Catherine Zeta-Jones lassoing ladies' man Michael Douglas or Annette Bening with the Original Player Warren Beatty. But the list is short, and for a reason. Timid Theresas need not apply.

The path ahead is treacherous, but should you try to reform your own Promiscuous Paul, here are a few tips.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A Party Boy
• Test for STDs

1. Stay true to who you are. The man must change for you, not the other way around. If you change for him, he'll sense he's in control. Ala Yoda, control begets comfort. Comfort begets boredom. And boredom begets lots of banging – just not with you.

2. Don't expect to change a Party Boy, or any man, for that matter. Things will work out better if you look at the relationship as a scientific experiment in social behavior. It'll be more fun that way.

3. Date an older man. Or at least a man who has already sown most of his oats. Avoid the head-and-heartache of trying to tame a young buck. Not gonna happen. The testosterone, like the smell of sewage, is too strong.

4. Stand out from the pack. He's gotten Biblical with other women, so why try to be their clone? This also means don't give out the goods for free. I’m not talking money; I’m talking time. Effort. Like the L’Oreal commercial, remember you’re worth it.

5. Believe in your own beauty, inside and out. And while it's an ego-endorphin rush when a moth comes to the flame, appreciate your own light regardless of audience. The irony in catching and keeping a Party Boy is to understand that you are fine with or without him.

6. Party with your Party Boy. If he sees that he can get what he gets in clubs and on the prowl at your place, then you have planted the seed in his mind that You Are One To Be Cherished. Which leads to:

7. Keep your relationship exciting. Men like shiny new toys, so the same-old, same-old won’t cut it. Be adventurous! Obviously, this means knockin’ boots and lots of it. But don’t stop just in the bedroom. Move adventure into the dining room, the gun range, the dance studio or wherever your spirit moves you!

8. Discover what he sees in you and amplify it. He was promiscuous before; he's staying with you for a reason other than the booty. That means you're tapping into his mental or spiritual needs. If you figure out why he thinks you're special (which, of course, you are!) then you've found his Kryptonite.

9. Don't be Nincompoop Nancy. Allow him his Boys' Night Out. Just be sure you enjoy your own Girls' Night Out, too!

10. Finally, like any relationship, make sure it's worth it. Don't change a Party Boy for the challenge or validation. Don't change, but rather gently guide your Party Boy away from his exploits into the safety and welcoming arms of a deepening relationship.

[gluestickgirl]

on 11/18/2009 Why would you WANT to change a party boy??

[jseven]

on 11/18/2009 I married a party boy and his change was for me and did not last. I'll stick to the ones who want change for themselves.

[Jane512]

on 11/17/2009 well written, funny and true. I have used all these things to win my party boy and he is SO in love with me, its great. Im glad you are letting people in on the secret, its taken me 10 years to learn all this on my own!

[gabbeec]

on 11/17/2009 great article!!!!!!!!but if you think your prince charming needs changes then, maybe he's really not the one for you.i found out a long time ago that if there is something thats lacks in the quality of the kind of realationship your in or maybe its just that you want it to be Mr.Right but theres to many wrongs for you,do'nt get your feelings hurt when the big transformation is not happening or you do'nt get what you want out of him.sometimes its better to bend than break!!

[AUDIOMIND]

on 11/16/2009 As I was reading this sexist article I couldn't help but wonder if it was written by a feminazi. How could this have made it into my email box. Pathetic.