How to Land a Hottie, if You're Not

When a truly beautiful person walks by, that special chill runs up and down your spine. Whether it's their charisma, lively eyes, chisled features, or hot bod, a hottie is someone that heats up your libido in a big way.

Attraction is more than just your sexual desires. The "New York Daily News" highlights several supposed "mismatches" in their slideshow, "The Hottie and the Nottie." Even Hollywood stars find a way to bypass beauty in favor of something more.

So, how do you catch a 9 or a 10 when you're (be honest!) a 5 or 6? Remember that, while there's something to be said for the physical, most of attraction is in the mental game. It also helps to have some other qualities going for you.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• leadership or huge talent in an interesting area (politics, fashion, the arts, academia, etc.)
• money
• small talk that is free of sexual innuendo or pick-ups

1. 
    
   2008 schuey / Creative Commons

   Be confident. Confidence will get you incredibly far with attractive people. That means standing with good posture, looking like you're in control of your surroundings and having a comfortable smile on your face. A timid, cowed look will make you look like a timid, frightened bunny, and you'll remain hottie-free.

2. Don't approach with compliments or sycophantic moves like buying a drink or sending a rose in the club. According to Samantha Scholfield, author of "Screw Cupid: The Sassy Girl's Guide to Picking Up Hot Guys", "paying for a stranger's beer crosses the line from flirtatious behavior to weirdo aggressiveness." Keep in mind - highly attractive people get a lot of attention, and most of it zeroes right in on their looks. Instead, act indifferent, or stick to small talk about the temperature of the beer.

3. 
    
   2009 kevygee / Creative Commons

   Wait for the hottie to take your number. Never, ever, give it and expect them to call. Hotties get numbers all the time, with most going into the garbage bin within moments. Ladies can say, "Oh, I'd love to talk to you more about this," which signals that it's alright for a man to ask for a number.
   
   However, it's different for hot women. Surprisingly, a lot of gorgeous gals seldom get approached, and they love a sweet guy who takes their number with no expectations. Men, simply ask the lady, "I've enjoyed talking to you so much, and I'd like to catch up over coffee and talk some more. If you don't mind, can I have your number?"

4. If you want the hottie for keeps, keep sex out of it. That means that you need to stay away from sounding lecherous or sexual during the initial pick-up. For a highly attractive person, bed games are always on offer, so don't give in to the temptation. Keep the bedroom voice, and matching action, out of the equation until at least four dates have passed.

5. 
    
   2006 smudie / Creative Commons

   Stay away from tactics like negging. A popular approach in the men's Pick-Up Artist community, negging is the dubious art of chipping at a woman's self-esteem through small, teasing remarks.
   
   Bottom line: any woman worth having that possesses good self-esteem will walk away from a guy who insults or says overly familiar things right away. Use on men, it seems overly abrasive and mean. Negging will get you in trouble. Don't do it.

6. Have an overwhelming redeeming quality or talent that makes you special. Very plain people who are in possession of raging talent are fascinating. This talent should impart some variety of status or power, as well. High intellect, dancing talent, musical ability or an interesting job will go far in nabbing a hottie. The Frisky's Wendy Atterberry writes that "beautiful people do end up with others who have traits that are at least equal to their good looks." Money is a pull, too, but won't satisfy in the long run. Cultivate an intangible strength to pull in your hottie and make them stay.

Tips & Warnings

• Understand that it's easier for an average man to pick up a hot woman than for an average woman to nab a hot man. Men usually make their moves based on sex appeal, while a woman will go for more tangible traits like status or wealth. In other words, that hot guy has to be in a very mature place to be looking for something other than looks.
• Don't look for the perfect 10 to the exception of a 7 or 8 that is a fine person. Often, very attractive people are narcissists, spoiled, or not as motivated to work as hard at relationship skills because of "beauty capital". Physical beauty dies over the years, but a truly good spirit and a compassionate heart will only get better with time.

Resources

• Lemondrop: How to Pick Up a Guy
• New York Daily News: The Hottie and the Nottie
• Dear Wendy: Do Beautiful People Date Only Beautiful People?

[wrcavender]

on 11/28/2009 gluestick: The operative word here is "often", don't confuse "concept" with "imperative"

[look4writing]

on 11/20/2009 Great advice for anyone that doubts their self,
I'm sory to say about stereotypeing, "that is the way it is"

[vikki9]

on 11/20/2009 Interesting...

[consultmedley]

on 11/20/2009 Thanks for the advice

[gluestickgirl]

on 11/18/2009 Wait...

"Often, very attractive people are narcissists, spoiled, or not as motivated to work as hard at relationship skills because of "beauty capital"."

Don't like that comment. That is a huge stereotype.