How to Help Your Kids Settle Disputes

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By turtledove
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Help Your Kids Settle Disputes

A comedian once said you're not a parent until you have two or more kids. I'm inclined to agree, since I've spent a good part of my adult life trying to break up fights.

Most kids' disputes are over who GETS to do something fun (like play with a toy,) or who HAS to do something odious (like feed the dog.)
Left to themselves, they will rarely make decisions based of what's fair or right... so you have to show them how.
Here are a few ideas to help them do it themselves.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Step 1

Popsicle sticks:
Write their names on sticks – popsicle sticks work well, and so do plastic spoons with names written in the bowls. (Make sure they’re identical.) Hold the sticks in your hand, or place in a can so their names don’t show. Have a kid pull a stick and read the name on it. (Of course, they will fight over who gets to draw the stick.)
Step 2

Draw straws:
You can use some straws that you got at fast-food places. (Make sure they’re identical.) Cut the same number of straws as you have kids; but cut one shorter than the rest. The kid who draws the short straw gets the privilege or has to do the drudgery.
Step 3

Rock, paper, scissors:
Chances are, your school-aged kids will be able to do this without your instructions. All you have to do is determine first if they’ll play “best two out of three,” or they’ll be fighting over that.

(How to play: Slap your fist against your open palm three times, then make the shape; a fist for rock, two fingers out for scissors, a flat palm for paper. Rock breaks scissors, scissors cut paper, paper covers rock.)
Step 4

Odd/even:
If you’re lucky, you have two kids. That way, one does jobs – and gets privileges – on odd days, the other on even days. It helps if they’re born on odd and even birthdays, but it’s not necessary.
(If you have seven kids, you can do it by day of the week!)
Step 5

Chart:
You can buy a chart, or make one yourself. Put it in a prominent place. This can be used to determine who does what job when, or who gets to watch what TV show when.
Step 6

Quiet kid wins:
Who can stay quietest for five minutes? Of course, if they’re all silent for that long, they’ll have to resort to a tie-breaker. Meanwhile, you get five minutes of peace.
Step 7

Timer:
If two children want one toy, let them take turns using a kitchen timer. Younger kids should have shorter turns; maybe 5-10 minutes each.