How to Win Your Wife Back

Winning back your wife can seem like an uphill battle. Mistakes have been made, and now the rules have seemingly changed. The marriage needs attention to repair the errors and rebuild. Proving to your wife that you are willing to put in the work to reconcile is the first step. Then follow up with a plan of attack to ensure a reunion that will give you both a new start.

Things You'll Need

• Marriage counseling
• Romantic greeting cards

Instructions

1. Communicate with your wife in a non-defensive way. Find out what needs are not being met, and what steps she would like to see made to reconcile the relationship. Ask her to be clear, and accept her comments without judging and with an open mind. To win her back, you must first understand why you lost her, so listen carefully and take notes.

2. Make a plan. Together with your wife write out the steps necessary to repair damages done to the marriage. For example, if she complains that you are not home enough, make a plan for a weekly date night plus limits on nights out with the boys. If infidelity on your part has led to your marriage issues, write out your email passwords and give her written permission to check on your emails and cell phone activity. Written plans and goals help clarify steps needed to repair the relationship and ensure both parties are on the same page.

3. Keep your promises. Now more than ever you should pay close attention to what you say and be sure to meet all your responsibilities, both to your wife and other family members. To win your wife back, you must show her that you are reliable. For instance, if you promise to change the oil in her car, do so in a timely manner.

4. Seek professional help. Winning your wife back means clearly understanding what issues drove you apart and dealing with them in a non-defensive way. Sometimes growth here requires the presence of a non-partial mediator or therapist. Your willingness to attend and participate in therapy will let your wife know you are serious about working on the relationship and are committed to reconcile.

5. Be romantic. Being romantic includes giving your wife romantic greeting cards, calling her on the phone during the day or taking her out for a date night once a week. Women often consider pitching in around the house to be a way of showing you care, so treat her to an evening without cooking or wash the dishes or laundry without being asked to show her you appreciate and love her.

Tips & Warnings

• If you have physically separated, approach the relationship with a new excitement. Take time to plan dates and court her all over again.

• Reconciling only happens if both parties are willing. If your wife makes it clear that the marriage is over, accept it and repair the underlying friendship so that co-parenting is drama-free.

References

• Getting Back Together: Dr. Phil
• How to Save Your Marriage Ffrom Your kids
• When Your Spouse Doesn't Want to Try

Resources

• Getting Back Together: Dr. Phil