How to Raise a Well Adjusted Child

Here's a few tips and important information to help raise a happy and healthy child.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• PATIENCE!

1. 
   Find out what's on their mind.

   Let them make their own decisions sometimes. They might actually surprise you! We sometimes get so involved with our own routines and our own ways of doing things, that we forget our children are people too. They have their own ideas and theories about everything. Take a step back and try to see their point of view. I know we are all short on time now days, but taking a few minutes out of your day to explore your child's thoughts can have a huge impact on how they view themselves, and YOU!

2. 
   Be your child's ref.

   Set clear cut boundaries and consequences. If you are a single parent, then this part is much easier. When you have a partner, it may be more difficult to agree on exactly what these parameters may be. But it is vital that you agree and have a plan before something happens. This goes for punishment AS WELL AS praise. There must be an equal balance. Think about it. If the only attention you ever received was for being bad, what would make you want to be good? Praise can be as simple as a high five. And the punishment should fit the crime! It's important not to under or over react.

3. 
   Take the time to develop a plan.

   Sit down and write out a list of their most consistent achievements and fiascos. Develop a plan as to what the rewards and consequences will be. Make sure you and your partner agree before you move forward. Sit down with your child and lay everything out on the table. Let them know if this happens, this will happen... If this doesn't happen, then this will happen. Once you've gone through the whole list, ask them to repeat what you've said. Then ask them if they think your rules are fair. Nine out of ten times, they will agree. (But ONLY if you include the rewards!) Once you have their buy in, you are all a team on the same page. Then when the behavior (good or bad) occurs, you all know what is going to happen. Plus, they will appreciate that you value their opinion.

4. 
   Stick to your guns.

   Be consistent! Consistency is the key to success when it comes to rearing children. Don't slack off on your own rules. If one of your punishments is time out for 5 minutes, make sure it's actual time out for the whole 5 minutes. It doesn't matter where you are, you can always find a corner or quiet spot for time out. Keep in mind when you are creating your rules list, that some of these issues and achievements will occur in public situations. So they need to be realistic for those settings as well as at home.

Tips & Warnings

• When you involve your child in their own development, it gives them a sense of ownership and self control.
• Take the time!!! I know we all live very busy lives, but you don't know how much opportunity is wasted because we can't take 5 extra minutes with our kids.
• Distractions are not good babysitters. Plopping your kid down in front of the TV for movies, TV or video Games may get them out of our hair, but what does it do for them???
• When developing your discipline plan, keep in mind the whole point is to develop a life skill or habit. Ask yourself if the punishment you've chosen is going to help your child in anyway. What will this teach them? Punishment is a tool to help them, not to relieve your stress. If you do it right, you can deter that stressful behavior all together!
• Every child is different and may react in various ways when you are introducing new tactics, but if you are consistent and you and your partner support each other 100%, it can be done. Just don't give up!!! You will be amazed when the change you are seeking seems to happen right around the corner. Just one more "no" could mean never having to say it for that action again!