How to Explain a Close Relative's Death to a Child
Dealing with the death of a relative can be quite saddening, especially if your child was particularly close to the individual. But explaining the process of death to your child in age-appropriate terms can help him come to understand what death is, and how it happens. In addition, an explanation can teach your child how to effectively handle grief and responsibly express his feelings about death.
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Instructions
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If the relative is still alive but has a terminal illness, begin to explain the process of death to your child. Encourage her to spend time with the relative if possible.
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Use age-appropriate terms to describe the condition that will cause or has caused the relative to die. If your child's grandfather has lung cancer, you may want to say something like, "Your grandfather has lung cancer. A tumor, or mass of bad cells, was found in his lung. Doctors have given him six months to a year to live." Answer any questions the child might have.
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Let your child take part in any mourning rituals that your family might have, and explain what happens in this process. Leave it up to your child to decide whether he wants to go to this event.
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Encourage your child to come to you with questions. Let her know that expressing her feelings about the death of the relative is acceptable, and comfort her as needed. Something that you could say is, "I know that you're sad about Grandpa's death, and that you miss Grandpa. I miss Grandpa, too. It's OK to feel this way. If you ever want to talk about Grandpa, or if you have any questions you want to ask, you can always come to me."
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Tips & Warnings
When you are explaining death and dying to your child, avoid using euphemisms that may confuse him. Refrain from comparing death to "going away" or "going to sleep." These terms may plant false hope in the minds of younger children that their dead relative may return, or cause them to believe that going to sleep causes death.
