How to Deal With a Needy Person In Your Life

A needy person is usually one who has to have your constant time and attention. He or she is always needing help with something whether it be a problem or a task, and requires constant assurance. Dealing with a needy person can be tough since it takes a lot of patience to handle someone who takes much of your time and energy. Needy people can leave you frustrated, irritated, and plain exhausted if you let them. Here are some tips for handling a needy person that zaps your energy dry.

Instructions

1. Figure out why the person in your life is so needy and what they do that bothers you. Is it a friend who comes only to you with her problems? Is it a boyfriend who needs constant reassurance that you love him? Is the needy person a family member who visits or calls all the time? Whatever the person or situation, try to figure out what makes him or her so needy. What kinds of things are they doing to take your time and energy? What is it about this needy person that makes you irritated with them? Once you realize what the needy person in your life is doing to zap your energy and take all of your time, you can do something about it. Understanding what you are feeling when this needy person is around can help you to take care of the situation.

2. Tell the needy person what he or she is doing to upset you. Be honest, but kind in your words. A needy person is usually so because they lack confidence, security in their life, or any kind of support system, but you. So it's important to be firm, but nice when speaking to a needy person. Because they lack a certain something that allows them to help themselves, a needy person has poor self image and if you say something in a hurtful manner, you will probably harm their self esteem. While it is not your job to make a needy person feel better about themselves, you can help to prevent hard feelings by telling him or her in a nice way that you do not have much time in your life to help them as you wish you did. Beware, however, that a needy person does not always listen to your pleas for space. Some needy people desire attention and want it no matter what you tell them.

3. Pay less attention to the needy person in your life. Avoid them as much as possible to keep from losing yourself in their troubles and needs. Unfortunately, once you pay a needy person some attention, they crave this attention and want more. They figure that you will give it to them so they look for the attention in you. While it seems rude to ignore a person who needs your help, the alternative of having this person take up all aspects of your life is worse. It's important to know that a needy person takes advantage of those who pay them special attention. Do not feel too sorry for a needy person...if it isn't you they crave attention from, it will be someone else. A needy person does not necessarily choose people in their lives to be close to, they are drawn to those people based on how much attention they get. You could also answer his or her calls once in awhile, but avoid the daily contact you usually give them. This way, you are still keeping in touch, but not giving a needy person all your energy as before.

4. Help a needy person find someone else who can give them more attention. If you know of friends or family members that have a lot of time on their hands and/or have been feeling bored or lonely (especially elderly friends and family), introduce them to your needy friend. A needy person can help someone who has been feeling lonely have some joy in their lives because they will have someone else to talk to and hang with. A needy person can be a great attention giver to someone who spends a lot of time alone. Say, for instance, you have a grandparent that was recently widowed or has been living alone, if you introduce your needy friend to them, they can hang out and give each other the attention both need. It's pretty much a win-win situation for all.
   What's nice about a needy person is that they love to talk and spend time with people constantly. If they are able to do this for someone you know that has been needing attention, you end up creating a great friendship for two people who need and would love more social time. Plus, you don't have to feel so guilty for telling the needy person that you cannot give so much time to them anymore.