How to Cope With Separation From Elderly Parents
If you are used to being part of your elderly parents' lives, but for one reason or another must move away from them, this separation can make you feel anxious about how your parents will get along without you. There are many ways you can reassure yourself and make this difficult situation easier.
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Investigate your parents' living situation before you leave. Have their house inspected to make sure it's in good condition and that they can get around it with ease. Install grab bars in the bathroom and a lift on the stairs, if necessary, or consider moving them to a smaller space that meets their needs more effectively, such as an apartment or assisted-living facility.
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Set up a local contact system to alert you if any problems arise. For example, consider paying a neighbor to check on your parents regularly and report back to you.
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Keep in touch electronically. Purchase computers with internet access and a webcam for you and your parents. Make a regular schedule to communicate by webcam. Grandparents can keep connected with their young grandchildren this way too, and you can also monitor your parents' health via video: note any subtle changes in their speaking abilities or cognitive skills.
Set up an email schedule as well, or set up a family blog to keep in touch with your parents and help them keep in touch with other family members too.
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Plan frequent visits home to stay connected. Look for low-cost flights, and arrange to alternate visits with other family members if your time or money is limited.
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Consider establishing connections to your parents' health care provider network to keep you informed and updated about their condition, their medications and any procedures they are having. Especially if your parents have chronic conditions that require regular medical supervision, such as Alzheimer's or diabetes, contact all medical personnel involved in their care, add yourself as their emergency contact person, and make sure that you are kept current on all their medical decisions. As a child you can get power of attorney if your parents are not competent medically.
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Address finances. If your parents' finances are shaky you can petition to have yourself appointed supervisor. Even if they are in good financial shape, you can help them organize and make financial decisions.This is particularly important if your parents not in good mental health.
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Help a parent avoid isolation. Especially if your have only one parent left, you can help keep them socially involved in their surroundings. Arrange for them to have weekly visits to a local senior center. Help them find ways to feel useful in their community: maybe donating their time to teach reading to children or helping out with neighborhood beautification and cleaning efforts.
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