How to Find Passion in Your Marriage
Summoning your emotions to evoke passion in your marriage can be like trying to draw water from a dry well. Deteriorating emotional circumstance coupled with the erosive effects of everyday life can sap the energy from all your efforts to motivate your spouse. This is especially true if gestures aren't quickly reciprocated. Passion can be discovered or rediscovered in your marriage when you know where to place the emphasis of your effort.
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Instructions
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Spend some time apart: While it isn't good to spend too much time away from your spouse, knowing where to draw the lines of personal space is important to keeping things fresh. Having your own friends allows you to maintain your own identity that will keep your spouse interested. Maintaining your own personal space will also keep you both from being too comfortable with each other to the point of clinginess.
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Engage in the simple gestures: Saying the words, "I love you," shouldn't only come when you're separating ways or as a drab part of your routine. Shake things up by saying those three words in your spouse's favorite way. This can be done through public displays of affection, romantic gestures or even through simply taking over your spouse's daily responsibilities. This can help show your spouse that you appreciate what he does, which can say "I love you" louder than spoken words ever will.
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Get away from it all: Taking a romantic vacation together will allow you to re-learn each other. Go to a place that challenges what you know about each other and may be out of character. If you have always been scared of rollercoaster rides, then having a theme park getaway may help you face a fear with your spouse by your side. You will also get a chance to revisit the purity of romance in its basic form, without the pressures of everyday life and expectations.
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Inject an atmosphere of positive unpredictability: Spontaneity feeds excitement in a relationship which is the driver for passion. This doesn't mean you have to be crazy or impulsive; you can actually plan a 'surprise' for your spouse. Changing plans at the last minute to a venue your spouse will be more excited to visit can help shake things up. If you do this, however, ensure that your spouse is properly dressed for the occasion or make other provisions.
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Have an affair within your marriage: Meeting your spouse in a location away from your home for a steamy quickie or for a date injects a sense of newness. Plan an affair with your spouse by having a date away from your home where you discuss the terms. Making rules such as forbidding conversation of the affairs at home, coming up with alter egos when you meet and occasionally meeting outside of town will help to kick things up a notch.
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Tips & Warnings
Creating a passionate atmosphere can also help you to discover it in your marriage. Giving your spouse a massage to her favorite slow music while surrounded in her favorite scent is one example of creating an atmosphere that is passion-friendly.
Never attack your spouse with your disappointment of the lack of passion within the relationship. This will only cause your spouse to withdraw initially from an emotional standpoint. Voice your concerns with sincerity using delicacy and tact.
