How to Cope With a Spouse's Incarceration
Few things place more strain on a marriage than a stint in prison. The financial burdens become greater, emotional issues add considerable pressure, and the incarcerated spouse may rely on you for support more than ever. In many cases, it spells the end of the marriage entirely. If you wish to work through the stress of it all, decide upon a plan for doing so. It helps both you and your spouse handle a difficult period far more readily.
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Instructions
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Stay in constant contact with your spouse. It reminds you of why you fell in love and of your commitment to each other. Write a letter to him each day and call as often as you are permitted. Care packages are an excellent morale booster as well; talk to the prison and see what kind of items they allow inmates to receive. Include pictures of yourself if you can, so that your spouse can look at you every night.
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Arrange for visits whenever you can. Most prisons have set times when visitors are allowed. Try to work around your existing schedule as often as you can to meet with your spouse. Conjugal visits, in particular, are very important and should take precedence over other activities.
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Contact a support network such as FCN where you can speak to other people with incarcerated loved ones. It exposes you to a community that knows what you are going through and can be there to listen and validate your feelings when you need it.
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Take a close look at your household budget and find ways to either increase your income or scale back your expenses. This is often the toughest part of having a spouse in prison. You won't have her income to depend on, which means you need to take care of it all yourself. Be prepared to give up some of your luxuries, and stick closely to any budget you set for yourself.
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Look after your own needs. If you have the means, speak to a therapist about your troubles and listen to his advice. Set a healthy pattern in your life in order to keep your morale and energy levels up. Adopt an exercise program, eat healthy meals and set a regular sleep schedule. An established regimen will help you maintain your strength and focus during a tough period.
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Tips & Warnings
Be ready for an adjustment when your spouse is released from prison. Incarceration changes people, and your loved one may need time to acclimate to life in the outside world. Be loving and supportive, but also encourage him to take positive action in his life. It doesn't come overnight, but it does get better over time.
