How to Know Someone Likes You? What Are the Signs?

Gazes toward your lips can indicate sexual attraction on the gazer's part.

Humans have evolved to rely on remaining within groups for survival. Thus, the fear of social rejection has become an innate trait, as those with this trait have been more likely to survive and procreate, passing on the genes related to this trait. For this evolutionary reason, humans tend to be cautious about risking alienation by expressing their sexual attraction toward others too directly. In most cases, an individual will not admit attraction toward you in a straightforward fashion. In addition, asking people whether they like you is not only unreliable but unromantic. Fortunately, the science of attraction in the field of psychology has provided us with methods of knowing when an individual may be attracted to you.

Instructions

1. Pay attention to the person's eyes. There are two things you should look for: how often the person looks at you and the change in that person's pupils. If you find the person is often looking at you when he believes you are not observing him, this could be a sign of interest and shyness. Also, more eye contact when you are speaking tends to indicate attraction or respect. The pupil size of the person also indicates attraction because people's pupils dilate when making eye contact with someone they like.

2. Observe the person's body language. Closer-than-average proximity often indicates attraction; compare how the person changes the size of her "bubble" (the space she keeps between herself and others) as she changes from interacting with you to interacting with others. In addition, watch for "open" postures, such as the spreading of legs, or the outward facing of palms. Bodily openness and forward direction can indicate attraction.

3. Listen to the person's use of language. When someone is attracted to you, he will increase his use of first-person inclusive and second-person pronouns. This means if you are hearing many "we's" and "you's" from this person, you may appeal to him. Also, attraction is associated with "playful" types of verbal behavior, such as teasing and the giving of nicknames.

4. Make the person react. Do things to test her feelings toward you. Any action that will help you reliably differentiate between people who are allured to you and those who feel neutral or negative toward you is useful. For example, try moving into the person's intimate space (within three feet for most Americans) or touching her on the arm or shoulder. If you find no negative reaction, such as backward movement or the shrugging off of your hand, it is possible the person is interested in you.

References

• "Handbook of Relationship Initiation"; Susan Sprecher, et al.; 2008
• "The Psychology of Physical Attraction"; Viren Swami and Adrian Furnham; 2008

Resources

• Read this Article in Spanish