How to Have a Drama-Free Household

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By Judy Ford
eHow Contributing Writer

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Have a Drama-Free Household

Whether you’re sharing space and household chores with roommates—or negotiating childcare duties and budgets with spouses—there are bound to be rough spots. According to the article, "Natural Element: The Drama Free Household" by Victoria Stern on Psychology Today.com—it is possible to cohabit without killing one another. Here is how to have a drama-free household.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Step 1

Be Up Front

Talk about expectations right off the bat. When two or more people live under the same roof, you can be sure there will be differences. Housemates have expectations, and unless you talk about them, no one knows what they are. Some people like music blaring and the TV on all night; others prefer lights out and quiet by 10 p.m. It’s possible to avoid such hassles if everyone is up front about their lifestyle preferences. By discussing such mundane tasks as who takes out the trash, and when, who cleans the bathroom, who empties the dishwasher—you’ll be off to a good start.
Step 2

Divide Chores

Make a list of all household chores and divide them up equally based on who wants to do what chore, who is good at what chore and the time frame involved. Make sure everyone has a daily chore, a weekly duty and a monthly task. Put everyone in charge of something.
Step 3

Keep Negotiations Fluid

When one of you is slacking off and one of you is feeling taken advantage of, tension rapidly escalates. While some people advocate enforcing stricter rules to keep people timely, I advocate a more diplomatic intervention. While some housemates get bored and lose interest doing the same chore over and over, others like regular routine. Temperament is an aspect of getting along that needs to be handled directly. Even members of the same family have different preferences. Accommodating the differences and adjusting to a variety of styles keeps the atmosphere friendly. Enforcing rules strictly adds to resentment and behind-the-scenes drama.
Step 4

Pay Attention to Signals

That "walking on eggshell" feeling is a signal that tensions are about to bubble over. Issues are being swept under the rug. Call a household meeting, serve cookies and approach the subject with an attitude of "let's be sure this works for everyone.” Every community has conflicts; if you pay attention to potential troubles in the early stages you can create a caring community and connections that last.
Step 5

Clear the Air

If you’ve been the slacker, step up and admit it right away. Your housemates will respect your maturity and forgive you, but if you make excuses, you’ll create distrust.
Step 6

Lend a Hand

There are times when chores fall through the cracks, when someone is sick or out of sorts, or simply forgot. When that happens cheerfully pitch in. You may need help some time too. Besides, you’ll earn good karma points by pitching in and lending a helping hand.

Comments

sharpton said

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on 11/8/2009 real good points, thanks

Fike said

on 11/8/2009 Nice tips on one of the longest-running topics known to the species. Thanks for your ideas. Some conflicts involving children are especially difficult if you're trying to set standards and expectations while simultaneously experiencing distinct "parenting styles." But even then, the child can turn out with an appreciation for "difference." The cost, psychologically, may be steep for all involved, however - especially the child(ren).