How to Explain Depression to My Girls
Clinical depression is so misunderstood that people who have the disease dread explaining it to adults. Explaining it to children can be even more challenging. Experts recommend a using matter-of-fact tone, assuring the child that the problem is not their fault, presenting depression as a medical disease just like any other, and explaining that doctors are trying to help.
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Explaining Depression to Children
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Don't assume girls will take the news differently than boys. While many people believe that women are more emotionally sensitive and intuitive, this isn't necessarily true--especially in children. In a report filed to the federal Department of Education, researchers Dr. Patricia B. Campbell and Jennifer Soto state flatly that gender is a bad way to predict a child's emotional reaction to a problem.
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Explain depression as an illness. The Center for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) advises parents to explain first that people with depression behave the way they do because they are sick. This may help children understand why the depressed person stays away from other people, sleeps a lot, or cries frequently.
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Tell them it's not their fault. Children become sad when someone does something to them, so they may assume that the depressed person is sad for the same reason. The CAMH recommends telling children that neither they nor anyone else is to blame for the person's depression; this reinforces the fact that depression is an illness, not a behavioral choice.
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Tell them help is coming. Children worry about the people they know, and the CAMH recommends telling children that treating depression is an adult responsibility. Let them know doctors are trying to help, and that other adults in the family will help the depressed person.
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Reinforce with a book. Children are accustomed to learning from books, and many children's authors have written books about depression for elementary-aged students and young adolescents.
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