How to Stop Having The Same Argument With Your Spouse
Have you ever started arguing with your spouse about the weather, and end up talking about the same issues you always talk about? Does every argument seem to be about the same thing? Follow these simple steps and learn to stop arguing. It may even save your marriage.
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Instructions
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Recognize the root causes. We tend to over generalize when we think about our spouses, in an attempt to understand them. But when we do that we start to tally up all the evidence that supports our claim, and these tallies rear their ugly head whenever an argument begins. Realize that your spouse may have some less than admirable qualities, but so do you.....some of these qualities will NEVER change, no matter how many times you bring it up during an argument.
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Just say no. Recognize the feeling you get right before an argument takes a turn for the worse, or reaches the point of no return. Do you start to get tears in your eyes? Does your heart begin to race? Do you see red? These are signs that you need to stop talking. Don't walk out of the room, most people hate this and only add fuel to the fire. Don't roll your eyes. Don't say something that is a snarky remark in disguise like, "I am going to be the better person, and agree that you are always right all of the time." Try to say not a word, just listen (or zone out) until your spouse gets tired of talking. If you have to say something, say something like, "I think we are headed in the wrong direction with this argument, lets stop talking for the time being." Then try to ignore your spouse rolling their eyes.
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Reward yourself. A friend of mine once told me to put a dollar in a jar every time I nipped an argument in the bud. This is a great idea and I have had many pedicures on my earnings. Though sometimes it is hard not to show my spouse the jar as evidence of how awesome I am.
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Tips & Warnings
The assumption is that you love your spouse and want to get along. If your not sure about this basic assumption, then this article is not for you.
